tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76329417272077517472024-02-02T19:33:30.835-05:00Girls in a Tight PlaceJThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204273215290917463noreply@blogger.comBlogger793125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-65426941528105869972016-04-09T23:17:00.003-04:002016-04-09T23:28:59.158-04:00Shelley's Year of Affirmations<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV8aTaAgzfZ2Of5vffkx5toGi8-Qy7Zg7awPcBWCPtJmyRLK9y2IrcpYRAjurkJFJ_qY7vVw5FW7zHgiWZmbdkjSFckO-8o_HQvkzd7u7NUXle_2HH0aXlSu1HzBrm9hEibpqifnMg8W0/s1600/shelley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV8aTaAgzfZ2Of5vffkx5toGi8-Qy7Zg7awPcBWCPtJmyRLK9y2IrcpYRAjurkJFJ_qY7vVw5FW7zHgiWZmbdkjSFckO-8o_HQvkzd7u7NUXle_2HH0aXlSu1HzBrm9hEibpqifnMg8W0/s320/shelley.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>Those who followed my lovely and talented sister on Instagram in 2015 (@turleyshelley) or on Facebook may have seen her densely layered yet exuberant daily affirmations--small watercolors of hippie freaks, boundary crossers, truth seekers, paper figures in need of consciousness raising paired with often deliberately prosaic inspirational quotes. The project, which kicked off on Thanksgiving Day 2014, ended on Thanksgiving Day 2015. I interviewed Shelley about her year of affirmations on New Year's Day 2016. I'm finally posting the interview four days after Shelley's 50th birthday. I'm very lucky to be related to someone so talented and interesting. I mean, just look at Shelley's painting below:</i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj80NSivuy-VFSFsSCarhZ9hd729miHv_4bN4lHJx61385bSx2szcbJdRKYod5nvPan3mqIhUEF3QWRjffR5R9ihnr5spkvPozdGZGwXAlrMYARzDcLxSPL2hbpC2cFEyBkoBB002ymssU/s1600/shelleywoods.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj80NSivuy-VFSFsSCarhZ9hd729miHv_4bN4lHJx61385bSx2szcbJdRKYod5nvPan3mqIhUEF3QWRjffR5R9ihnr5spkvPozdGZGwXAlrMYARzDcLxSPL2hbpC2cFEyBkoBB002ymssU/s320/shelleywoods.jpg" width="243" /></a></div>
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<i>This interview took place in the fabulous Rose Establishment in fashionable downtown Salt Lake City.</i></div>
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<i>Here: </i><br />
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<i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNDnjgHFqJQ84giAgBh0Uww6Uc1eSnthCxxSvkLnejmu2mOW6vh8_nPe-LDd2bDCh9wRfX9wXKML-AEP1XxGqNNAZwXggwSIq_QC53r8tZIwImcaUQGMbxZ0CYOeEuUkZXDlyoiHLAi0c/s1600/rose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNDnjgHFqJQ84giAgBh0Uww6Uc1eSnthCxxSvkLnejmu2mOW6vh8_nPe-LDd2bDCh9wRfX9wXKML-AEP1XxGqNNAZwXggwSIq_QC53r8tZIwImcaUQGMbxZ0CYOeEuUkZXDlyoiHLAi0c/s320/rose.jpg" width="320" /></a></i></div>
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<i>How did this project get started?</i></div>
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I had all of these paper figures from other projects, paper dolls in bins. I wanted to do something with them. So I made cards. And then I thought, what if I posted the cards as daily affirmations? Posting a drawing a day is a thing some artists do. But I thought it would be more interesting as a project if there was a theme. </div>
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<i>What was the theme inspired by?</i></div>
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I had seen these affirmations--the text I used for each daily art piece--in a book. And they seemed to be connected to my work, which has always been about the evolving spirituality of middle-class white Americans, and how spirituality inserts itself into mainstream American culture.</div>
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<i>How did you start it logistically?</i></div>
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I started off the first da with a surplus of about 30 figures. And then once I ran out, I had to churn them out, often several days ahead of schedule. It felt good to have art be a grind, sometimes. I needed to just produce. It was beneficial for the project to really feel like work. It took the anxiety and preciousness out of art making. </div>
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<i>Tell me more about where the text for each day came from? </i></div>
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I gathered some from affirmations from Pinterest actually. I tried to use text already in circulation. Then I started making up my own. </div>
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<i>What kind of feedback did you get?</i></div>
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People told me how much they looked forward to them. My friend said she had a really hard year and these affirmations really helped her. I felt like if I was putting this out there, I wanted to take it seriously myself. </div>
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<i>What's next?</i></div>
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I really want to do some paintings. Some of the ideas I generated over the past year, I'd like to make a lot larger. I feel like I have a big sketchbook now.</div>
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<b>To see her affirmations (as I wasn't able to download any for this post), find Shelley on Instagram @turleyshelley and scroll back!</b></div>
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larahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13967263058541485619noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-38962809156062518192015-11-11T21:39:00.000-05:002015-11-17T14:33:16.376-05:00request: from an apostate to a believer<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiymK446eJpq7XKZlFUCf30JPaMO9zy61gO630sYfhHswnjsYQgaNWY0rjEwoYyfI8c8y1r4lCa1vgM3YitKPfNpYfZW-1A2Rk3lE35OHtNJten-heuiQ703w-gz-4gP0Q_d7GJF4Yk7aM/s1600/10300907_10152248938686219_5505242112981192398_n+%25283%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiymK446eJpq7XKZlFUCf30JPaMO9zy61gO630sYfhHswnjsYQgaNWY0rjEwoYyfI8c8y1r4lCa1vgM3YitKPfNpYfZW-1A2Rk3lE35OHtNJten-heuiQ703w-gz-4gP0Q_d7GJF4Yk7aM/s400/10300907_10152248938686219_5505242112981192398_n+%25283%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">me at the philadelphia magic gardens--a beautiful space created by community members in order to strengthen and preserve their neighborhood. it worked. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><b>i am an apostate member of the mormon church, and i have a sincere and humble favor to ask of my believing brothers and sisters. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>1) consider that the policy banning the children of gay marriages or partnerships from membership in the lds church is a policy and not a prophetic revelation, and is therefore subject to the fallability of man (i use the masculine noun advisedly here). i believe that this policy was an error, that it was not released to the church handbook through the normal channels (i have some inside information on this one from a very credible but unameable first hand source.)</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>2) consider an interpretation of article of faith 11, one of the most cherished tenets of my own personal ethos, suggesting not only that we as mormons support freedom of religion, but that within our own religion, we should act according to our individual consciences when necessary:</b></span></span><br />
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<i style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 25.2px;">We claim the </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 25.2px;">privilege</span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 25.2px;"> of worshiping Almighty God according to the </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 25.2px;">dictates</span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 25.2px;"> of our own </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 25.2px;">conscience</span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 25.2px;">, and allow all men the same privilege, let them </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 25.2px;">worship</span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 25.2px;"> how, where, or what they may.</span></b></span></i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 25.2px;"><b>in my experience, mormons read this article almost exclusively in regards to our belief that individuals should be able to join any religion they like. consider also: that we claim the privilege of following conscience from within the mormon congregation. we are duty bound to follow our consciences. i ask you to make sure you know what your own still small voice is telling you.</b></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 25.2px;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 25.2px;"><b>3) many times we are warned that "criticizing our leaders" means that we are acting against the church. consider telling your local leaders, in writing or vocally, that this policy is antithetical to the gospel of jesus christ (in any dispensation). consider that this action would actually strengthen and build up the mormon church--consider that an empowered and proactive membership is desirable to any viable and dynamic organization.</b></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 25.2px;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 25.2px;"><b>4) consider that this is your (our?) church, in partnership with god. you pay for it, you run it, you spread it, teach it, preach it, and live it, and you interpret the words of scripture, leaders, and the promptings of the spirit with the full sanction of your founder joseph smith. if you think that this policy is discriminatory, harmful, damaging, and against your personal belief system, you may be right, and i urge you not to be afraid to say so. </b></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 25.2px;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 25.2px;"><b>as a church body, i think we are ready to evolve, to be less scared of internal and also public discussion and dissent. i urge you not to be afraid to do what you think is right. avoid smoothing over the cognitive dissonance that most christians would find obvious in such a mandate as this new so-called policy.</b></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 25.2px;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 25.2px;"><b>5) consider reading and listening to the many stories of heartbreak, terror, shame, isolation, and persecution that your lgbtqia brothers and sisters have experienced in our church, if you haven't already. if the effects of this policy are purely theoretical to you, do your research. talk to some real live gay people and their families, or read the abundantly available accounts of their stories online. then check in with your consciences again and do what you know is right. </b></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>i am no longer a practicing mormon, and i am not now, nor have i ever been, a believing mormon. however, i have been a very active participant in my church community for my entire life, save the past few months. i have paid tens of thousands of dollars in tithing, and spent tens of thousands of hours in church attendance and service. mormonism is my culture, my ethnicity, and my heritage. my life is as bound to mormonism as it ever was, although i am critical of some of the practices of the institutional church. i am unable to fully support the religion any more because of this kind of hateful and intolerant practice, which i believe to be unworthy of the countless good and worthy brothers and sisters i have met through my religious community. </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>i know, because the people i love most in this world are sincere, faithful, and believing mormons, that it doesn't need to be this way, that it can be better. i personally failed at making it better, and my unbelief has taken away my will to continue much longer in the official church, but i know there are stronger, smarter, and more devoted individuals than me left in the congregations, who, god help us, can fix this mess. </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>i have asked mormons for help my whole life when i didn't know where else to turn. my congregation is where i have always gone when i need something, when i'm desperate and despondent, and i can honestly say that i have always been met with an extended hand. </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>so this is my request.</b></span></span>larahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13967263058541485619noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-22865737177604762862015-04-24T14:25:00.000-04:002015-04-24T14:26:13.800-04:00Come Copy Me: Copycat Night at Otto's A lot of things have kept me in after my nights in the salt mines: morning job interviews, morning angst, general unease, but last night I went out to <a href="http://www.ottosshrunkenhead.com/">Otto's Shrunken Head</a>, a mangy yet adorable bar with a back room for rock and roll, situated on the eastern heel of 14th St. (And also the site of my baby shower almost 17 years ago--I had a live dj spinning only songs containing the word "baby." There are a LOT, you know.)<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0vvngrGHX7GLRu0HT5UoqYqrkRYSBpbGQUpyk5xAmoVU8PnPjf89mwdV7ReQ411uKkB1Z9vM9pH-lnt7gzCe1nSbHzxgwqjkaxrb2EYdQesbYZhTpbYlqU5tasW_aqTreO6ad2KQsIg8/s1600/roost.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0vvngrGHX7GLRu0HT5UoqYqrkRYSBpbGQUpyk5xAmoVU8PnPjf89mwdV7ReQ411uKkB1Z9vM9pH-lnt7gzCe1nSbHzxgwqjkaxrb2EYdQesbYZhTpbYlqU5tasW_aqTreO6ad2KQsIg8/s1600/roost.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Late night coffee shop</td></tr>
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Left work at 9 pm, and made my way up the 1st Avenue bike lane instead of continuing on home. I was starving, so checked out an Avenue B coffee shop--still open at 10 pm (because the back room becomes a bar featuring a fireplace with glowing fake log) and picked up a mozzarella sandwich that the bald but luxuriously bearded barrista offered to drizzle with balsamic. He actually said, "Do you want me to drizzle this with balsamic?" So much energy at 10 pm. I stood out on the sidewalk, eating, making crumbs for rats and vermin. My bike locked up under a streetlight on B, I was heartened I got carded at the door at Otto's, which tonight was featuring bands participating in the bi-weekly eight-year long Copycat cover series. (I've so far only attended the Kinks' installment.)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Otto's has a photo booth.</td></tr>
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Tonight was New Wave night--and I'm already getting neurotic by how much text I'm generating here--so I'll make this short. The thing I love about NYC is that I can be a middle-aged woman alone--a mom, even--out late on a week night, and I'm invisible in a good way. I fit in. No one cares. At least I like to think so.<br />
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Probably not.</div>
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Michael T's band went on first. Michael T might be as old as me: he's an androgynous, flamboyant front man, who does a lot of the Bryan Ferry segments in the performance arty tribute thing he belongs to: Kate Loves Bryan. (See video above!) He also has his own band called the Vanities. Tonight, he and his band covered The Cars, Blondie, Bowie, Ramones, Vapors--and Michael T provided necessary context and metadata.<br />
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I stayed an hour, bike down Ave B at eleven. Did not see any rats.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlXY21LadncXCamMhMCEySYvZHQsmgvweY9rGtP7H-A1zdCMUDN6TP1SDS87UHr3fEvdeq6FB8FKIDS0wCiI4dxk0EhCst586FY-QFIYlJk3CzfhiaKmrVrI4esnsdiodRt0RzyVdYcvs/s1600/Otto.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlXY21LadncXCamMhMCEySYvZHQsmgvweY9rGtP7H-A1zdCMUDN6TP1SDS87UHr3fEvdeq6FB8FKIDS0wCiI4dxk0EhCst586FY-QFIYlJk3CzfhiaKmrVrI4esnsdiodRt0RzyVdYcvs/s1600/Otto.jpg" height="320" width="259" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My fellow late night, mid-weekers</td></tr>
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JThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204273215290917463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-26367680165914923992015-02-13T13:46:00.002-05:002015-02-14T12:25:24.898-05:00the deer also known as a hart<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIHECULpqA-F0ZPJVUmlAz62_vX_ydX-yxI1i3VU_HS2TES7sIbh8o8NuPwrOD7WiDggfR43n5-LaZREpgjuCMrb3BGmPAnrJFeO_qYiEOpub4O4osvIE8Grc5yyozSwzzjjKrZvTMf0M/s1600/deer-tattoos-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIHECULpqA-F0ZPJVUmlAz62_vX_ydX-yxI1i3VU_HS2TES7sIbh8o8NuPwrOD7WiDggfR43n5-LaZREpgjuCMrb3BGmPAnrJFeO_qYiEOpub4O4osvIE8Grc5yyozSwzzjjKrZvTMf0M/s1600/deer-tattoos-3.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">my love is a burden</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">i am your prey.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-f96cf197-843d-1bb3-490f-c4927976d548" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">i am your predator : : : : : artemesia, goddess of the hunt.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">we are all always prey and predator. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">that is true.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">+++++ there is no such thing as the top of the food chain because in the end, the earth will eat us all, and the universe will eat the earth and i don’t know who will eat the universe, just that our matter will keep getting eaten and transformed into new forms ad infinitum. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">+++++ the material world seems to indicate that 1) everything has already been created. 2) everything lives forever in some form or other.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEJacI3L7HExjyh-swPLBY2HTliIxchgHtlWLGDxShEqRiORzLWFomTfInuTIpGp86NGtMxnB9hrjHf4A-HXehmjoEXCz8Slg2ryQWjJJISNhrgD2pLb-5ygQlxSDQRmC4C_BCvdwgh_4/s1600/Hart_Hunting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEJacI3L7HExjyh-swPLBY2HTliIxchgHtlWLGDxShEqRiORzLWFomTfInuTIpGp86NGtMxnB9hrjHf4A-HXehmjoEXCz8Slg2ryQWjJJISNhrgD2pLb-5ygQlxSDQRmC4C_BCvdwgh_4/s1600/Hart_Hunting.jpg" height="272" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">hart hunting</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">so. deer, i miss you.</span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">you are running, and i might catch a glimpse of you out the window some time. you are beautiful and fleet and i’ve given up my quest to capture you.</span>larahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13967263058541485619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-52404325518811212772015-02-11T10:21:00.001-05:002015-02-11T20:45:55.045-05:00I Can't Go Home After Work, Dude. Am I Right, Lara?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc4mr5L0GKSxsjo0LILVb_XzFtV79YcRa05PUrm6sRp3uoZhVHO8w1sEzd1Ck4Cn42AOmXaH_4GxNyZcNF95E6IHzNTyeULJ5PrHo3VH_2Y64TcfKDgnhYErNUNJ_jlQfiAqichilR0Yc/s1600/akeithrichards.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc4mr5L0GKSxsjo0LILVb_XzFtV79YcRa05PUrm6sRp3uoZhVHO8w1sEzd1Ck4Cn42AOmXaH_4GxNyZcNF95E6IHzNTyeULJ5PrHo3VH_2Y64TcfKDgnhYErNUNJ_jlQfiAqichilR0Yc/s1600/akeithrichards.jpg" height="400" width="201" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This dude seemed happy to pose for me.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Last Tuesday, the streets here in downtown Manhattan were too icy to bike to work, so walked about two miles from the river to the East Village. Only 30 degrees around 9 pm. Not cold for this winter. Warm! Warm enough to have a conversation while walking with my hand out, holding my phone.<br />
<br />
I'd been out all day, since before the sun, and I wasn't heading home. Heading home, would make me feel like work had won the day.<br />
<br />
I wasn't going to let it.<br />
<br />
Heading uptown, I ended up in the basement of Three of Cups, where a one-off Keith Richards appreciation night, called <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/268490879992759/">Keef and Shit: a night to celebrate the undisputed kind of cool</a> was kicking off around 10 pm. The thing was going until 4:00 am. This was a Tuesday night. The fact that NYC, way past Guiliani time, planned to stay up way late on a school night made me very happy.<br />
<br />
This Keef thing was also being hosted by <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/theresak/33817656/">Cynthia Ross, a cool girl rock musician who used to date another cool kid, Stiv Bators of the Dead Boys</a>.<br />
<br />
Because I'm super dorky and I'm at this thing alone, I sit at a bar and take notes, just like I used to do in NYC when I'd go out alone in 1989.<br />
<br />
Here's what I wrote by votive:<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6gGBRKIpBAfFdlh50ElSxluI4KIVl3nA87qXgpqylY_inHsLxWWJgeoFmj04LqKLlzm-ExkNOeFDOVg3e2fBMj7isMwNcK3_61p73IqsA_PCPPNmIoa7vQQaF__iweJuSDb4KyRhpJiU/s1600/anotes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6gGBRKIpBAfFdlh50ElSxluI4KIVl3nA87qXgpqylY_inHsLxWWJgeoFmj04LqKLlzm-ExkNOeFDOVg3e2fBMj7isMwNcK3_61p73IqsA_PCPPNmIoa7vQQaF__iweJuSDb4KyRhpJiU/s1600/anotes.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Notes by low weak candle</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
My transcription:<br />
<br />
Bowie's "Waiting for the Man." Long-haired dude in an oversized pimp hat. Hendrix's "All Along the Watchtower." Small boisterous group sings along to this. I want someone to take my order for pizza. Stones' "Star Star"--"Way back to New York City / Where I do belong" Now those dudes are singing exuberantly to "Star Star." Rod Stewart now. I just asked the gravelly voiced girl bartender for a pizza. She told me to order upstairs. Alice Cooper's "Hey Stoopid." Omg, Faster Pussycat. Now finally, the Stones. There are cheers. "When the Whip Comes Down." "Just My Imagination"--Keith's great backing vocals here. This song is so good.<br />
____________________________________<br />
<br />
So now you know if you ever see me sitting and writing in a notebook, what I'm writing is pretty stupid. But it was really stupidly fun to sit there and I wasn't tired AT ALL. AND (see above) I got a photo of the dude in the pimp hat, channeling Keith on my way out. Plus, Keith on the wall below:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGH_uHcF5MDxb4ctKCtGRGSrr23EWnmCeD_OfTdEY3Az66xJLtfqf4iX4wThR3d0bwI6Fy9rQnsagvXxNWBurhfHrEXm9dIPUUy-qXMDT0Q5wQt5YRvzh4UGeSh_rJPlUH1_ktPT9VpVc/s1600/akeith1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGH_uHcF5MDxb4ctKCtGRGSrr23EWnmCeD_OfTdEY3Az66xJLtfqf4iX4wThR3d0bwI6Fy9rQnsagvXxNWBurhfHrEXm9dIPUUy-qXMDT0Q5wQt5YRvzh4UGeSh_rJPlUH1_ktPT9VpVc/s1600/akeith1.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I'll be doing a stay-out-late post every week, if this one wasn't too dull. Let me know!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />JThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204273215290917463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-54256809036822198282015-02-09T19:59:00.002-05:002015-02-09T23:32:33.380-05:00YOU CAN HATE ME now ::::: this document is called “smart things I say that I should be paid for but won’ t be”<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWATHltfXFQQy2mIHkoWxcFAVuBhyV1pdXK8Ff3c7d6CkBaSId2VFATGk8T_7GVHotd9o-YhFTT-KMjSGKv5MhxyA1T2cxwSfDridamicRL6r4FKsuxe0N7TB_SC5M7yBk2QnBVgZjFDY/s1600/221689275_640.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWATHltfXFQQy2mIHkoWxcFAVuBhyV1pdXK8Ff3c7d6CkBaSId2VFATGk8T_7GVHotd9o-YhFTT-KMjSGKv5MhxyA1T2cxwSfDridamicRL6r4FKsuxe0N7TB_SC5M7yBk2QnBVgZjFDY/s1600/221689275_640.jpg" height="224" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">listen up boys</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">this document is called “smart things I say that I should
be paid for but won’t be”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">&<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">the folder is entitled pragmatically <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>:::::<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">but not totally accurately :::::<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">“journalism 2015”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">some smart people<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">just ignore <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">talking<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">about </span>anything <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">that <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">depends on<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">really ugly <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">white capitalist dudes :::::<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">the best people do that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">i want to be the best. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">i am not the best.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">:::::<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">god & jesus help me.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">+++++<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">(((((they, god & jezus, don’t seem to like helping ladies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>especially the super fertile ladies
like me with all the kids.)))))<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">+++++<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">plus<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">plus<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">plus<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">plus<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">plus<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">so many things I should be doing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Folding clothes into my kids’ drawers
for school tomorrow. griddling some hamburgers for dinner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Heating up yesterday’s mashed potatoes
for dinner. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">grading poor ::::: <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">hungry & hungry & very hungry papers written by
poor hungry students.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">+++++<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">babies.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">baby.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">i know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">i seriously know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">it’s hard to know.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">+++++<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">what we should pay attention to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">i like beck, beyonce, & kanye.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">i mean, there are some things I like.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">AS<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">there are things I like about d’angleo, hildegard, machaut,
marina abramovich.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">kanye<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>had a
point.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">none of which.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">baby <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">:::::<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">i can’t be owned<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">:::::<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">even if I want<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">here and now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">(((((yeezus is my shepherd/not my shepherd & i
shall/shall not want)))))<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">cn b dvrcd frm sck cptlstic stm.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">if you can read that baby<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><3<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">i don’t hate you as much<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">a <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>system
with no vowels, no mothers, no wymn.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">++++++<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">but fuck.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">what’s the fkn difference?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">people.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">you need to go deeper.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">beck resorted to a singer songwriter schtick & <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">he resorted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">he did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">he forsook harmonic & rhythmic interest<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">& he got money for it<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">mormons call that preistcraft<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">julie told me I would get bored of yeezus<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">& I did<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">& <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">\/ venice (LA) sunsets.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">never disagree that LA doesn’t control the world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">i’m sorry that<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">i don’t hate it<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">it reminds me of my (white) childhood<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">like sstrada & shit (((((ponch)))))<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">+++++<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">carole king or james whats-his-name. the brill building
heroin (white) guy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">W (((((hite)))))<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">white guys pissing scared. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">i’m not going to parse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">white guys R skeered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">i heard yesterday <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">(((((again))))) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">that I am not good at parsing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">i’m sorry that you <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>((((( I
))))) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">have to do better, baby.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">thought for a second there was <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">a <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">u & i , <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">baby<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">i’m sorry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">i probably never will be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">should I keep <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">be sorry like always?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">yeah<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">i <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>know<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">you say yeah<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">like always baby<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">like five babies, baby<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">+++++<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">i was lying in bed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">thinking<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">that<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">+++++<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">(((((fck)))))<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">there’s so much more :::::<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">baby yeez<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">++++++<o:p></o:p></span></div>
larahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13967263058541485619noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-24400496496051811192014-10-30T14:03:00.000-04:002015-02-09T22:06:17.507-05:00shameful and other secrets<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTtmfiB2L0ADePGrkOaHxfTxwT_JE92b88ixX6AUDAb11fd73JAafFb_jCzUPllMQtKbkFmPo4gz4ytZTl7FK7YJqwU13DXX48r2iVSGGMSM16chrO1D1nzdAFT0rmAGVa6kNceywiqkg/s1600/usher.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTtmfiB2L0ADePGrkOaHxfTxwT_JE92b88ixX6AUDAb11fd73JAafFb_jCzUPllMQtKbkFmPo4gz4ytZTl7FK7YJqwU13DXX48r2iVSGGMSM16chrO1D1nzdAFT0rmAGVa6kNceywiqkg/s1600/usher.jpg" height="640" width="169" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">annual halloween performance of christian asplund's <i>fall of the house of usher</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
1) my secret writing place--i found a new spot and no one knows where it is. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1eJUZoTNN_3bEE-077o5E2J5Iz1HDsQ08phH1Ipu4gtnrstkcHccJOPLYMlZqfMKKAvRAx2kezQyioVKrDqY20mUw7eXTuIzqR4XgGY7WhUCN_HwDLF1wNDpxLZYK1WSPtFwKtFCbrpE/s1600/secret.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1eJUZoTNN_3bEE-077o5E2J5Iz1HDsQ08phH1Ipu4gtnrstkcHccJOPLYMlZqfMKKAvRAx2kezQyioVKrDqY20mUw7eXTuIzqR4XgGY7WhUCN_HwDLF1wNDpxLZYK1WSPtFwKtFCbrpE/s1600/secret.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">don't try to read what's in my notebook. it's a secret.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
2) moses' secret crazy carrot coconut soup & popovers. if i have the wherewithal, i'll make it for halloween tomorrow night.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUafJWb2Cvn-lyiiBlHh9sIjYL12eqF-xX1LGqu3jPQzYvPckZNlKFRbQvqYjXmDcBt0au2Ygr3yN7y3lWHa_aTFzSgak0iafSzPF_PkA90SQqCZJV0gRYGjzRDfEc0Kw_u9AWFWMeWWY/s1600/Lady-Antebellum-e05.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUafJWb2Cvn-lyiiBlHh9sIjYL12eqF-xX1LGqu3jPQzYvPckZNlKFRbQvqYjXmDcBt0au2Ygr3yN7y3lWHa_aTFzSgak0iafSzPF_PkA90SQqCZJV0gRYGjzRDfEc0Kw_u9AWFWMeWWY/s1600/Lady-Antebellum-e05.jpg" height="640" width="426" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">digging cheesy new country such as lady antebellum</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
3) i've been listening to the eagle, 101.5, salt lake city's new country station. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy9RLEJGXlbQhoCmyVtQVfTQJHtciMh4zpJdU6osFTdHOOqzXNbXHqXw91UVBvS_7p_UylzCgUbZ56pZg_QnJ1rxAJDmcw8xWOsBG1PFIqcrWmc8TyQRAWEm7DG1g07lh6Wz4GdPipxWI/s1600/imgres.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy9RLEJGXlbQhoCmyVtQVfTQJHtciMh4zpJdU6osFTdHOOqzXNbXHqXw91UVBvS_7p_UylzCgUbZ56pZg_QnJ1rxAJDmcw8xWOsBG1PFIqcrWmc8TyQRAWEm7DG1g07lh6Wz4GdPipxWI/s1600/imgres.jpg" height="398" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">and early zeroes alicia</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
4) i'm obsessed with mariah carey's <i>butterfly</i>, alicia keys <i>butterflyz,</i> and dolly parton's <i>love is like a butterfly</i>. what can i say. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd6iuBrqmghsAzqf5Ef8yJCJv1bnbSnIcoh-oCld8ZmPSSNzk3cmRC3mgLqG3hQnoux76hu09K69wAEZWh1C9bqc8uZX9FdvdUideEz4_H5DHSJaAGC-U5xooW5uViKXw4RQaEPpFCOTk/s1600/MV5BMTcyNjMzMzI5Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjI3NjQxMw@@._V1_SY317_CR3,0,214,317_AL_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd6iuBrqmghsAzqf5Ef8yJCJv1bnbSnIcoh-oCld8ZmPSSNzk3cmRC3mgLqG3hQnoux76hu09K69wAEZWh1C9bqc8uZX9FdvdUideEz4_H5DHSJaAGC-U5xooW5uViKXw4RQaEPpFCOTk/s1600/MV5BMTcyNjMzMzI5Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjI3NjQxMw@@._V1_SY317_CR3,0,214,317_AL_.jpg" height="400" width="270" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">questionable television programming</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
5) i watched every episode of californication in a week's time.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGc62KVSUeztC5pL38OIOyugpHXG79SXfFwRpJX5Hw3TYbYvsOpDfxQccoEm3zRQlQejx6oJx-LXmU3IJJcSMxoPcqequ5zQtx_zLtQt8mT-hWHs7gtHrazi0Csw5GSU_ltW3Ue4Z2agE/s1600/1173766_10152133419266219_1065808513_n+(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGc62KVSUeztC5pL38OIOyugpHXG79SXfFwRpJX5Hw3TYbYvsOpDfxQccoEm3zRQlQejx6oJx-LXmU3IJJcSMxoPcqequ5zQtx_zLtQt8mT-hWHs7gtHrazi0Csw5GSU_ltW3Ue4Z2agE/s1600/1173766_10152133419266219_1065808513_n+(1).jpg" height="400" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<i>moses and i created this soup last summer. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Crazy Coconut Carrot
Soup<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1 ½ T. coconut oil</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1 ½ T. vegetable oil</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1 ½ c. diced yellow onion</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3 large minced garlic cloves</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
¾ cup diced celery</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
¼ cup washed and finely chopped cilantro stems</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2 ½ t. kosher salt</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1 t. ground cumin</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1 t. garlic powder</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
¼ t. garlic chili oil</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2 cups cubed<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>and peeled potato</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2 cups cubed and peeled sweet potato</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2 lbs. peeled and chopped carrots</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
6-8 c. water</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1 32 oz. can diced tomatoes (including juice)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1 16 oz. can coconut milk</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
cilantro leaves for garnish</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->In
a large kettle, heat oil to medium and sauté onion, garlic, celery, and
cilantro stems.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Saute gently for a
few minutes until transluscent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Add
salt, garlic powder, cumin, and chili oil and cook for a few more minutes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Add
potatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots, water, and tomatoes and bring to a
boil.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Reduce heat to medium low
and simmer for about 40 minutes, or until all the vegetables are so tender that
they fall apart when forked.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Add
coconut milk and blend with an immersion blender, or in batches in a regular
blender or food processor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Adjust
salt to taste if necessary, and heat the soup for a few minutes on low.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before serving, garnish bowls of soup
with cilantro leaves.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Serve
with Cheddar Cheesy popovers on the side—delicious for dipping in the soup.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Cheddar-Cheesy
Popovers<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">(makes 12 medium
sized popovers)<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
5 medium eggs</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1 c. 2% milk</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
½ c. half & half</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1 ½ c. flour</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1 ½ t. kosher salt</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1 c. of your favorite cheddar, grated</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
cooking spray</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Pre-heat
oven to 450 degrees.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Spray a
cupcake tin with cooking spray.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Beat
eggs in medium mixing bowl.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Add
milk and half & half.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stir in
salt, grated cheddar, and finally, flower.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mix briskly with a wire whisk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s okay if a few lumps remain in the batter—kind of like
pancakes, if you over mix these, they will be tough.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Fill
cupcake tins 2/3 of the way with batter.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Bake
on 450 for 20 minutes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Reduce
heat to 375 degrees and bake for 12 minutes, then check on the popovers every
two minutes until they are brown, dry, and crispy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Immediately
remove from the cupcake tins so they don’t get soggy, and serve right after
baking with your Crazy Coconut Carrot soup.</div>
<br />larahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13967263058541485619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-85055408256191894322014-10-10T16:46:00.004-04:002014-10-10T16:47:11.326-04:00the whiteness of the whale<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVm-xf-x5oSp2RKdU3w7XMoF6VYVTutpyBh9VAA6tsTLH-8pJdzC96kD4NN-rB9k134kBkGVPvnUsC13_BHJlFnuEBYuga2eUUpJKKl1TRxlocMQAeRAlwPUbQw6mXmQeEsEdtc0ALk4A/s1600/20140606_081425.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVm-xf-x5oSp2RKdU3w7XMoF6VYVTutpyBh9VAA6tsTLH-8pJdzC96kD4NN-rB9k134kBkGVPvnUsC13_BHJlFnuEBYuga2eUUpJKKl1TRxlocMQAeRAlwPUbQw6mXmQeEsEdtc0ALk4A/s1600/20140606_081425.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">summer mountains. no pictures of fall mountains because i've been too busy looking to photograph.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
i've spent the past two daytimes in the mountains by myself letting time rest for a minute. starting last weekend i decided to practice boredom and nowness. actually, i didn't decide to do that, but stumbled into it because i was staying in a place that had no internet or t.v. i brought books and notebooks and music, but i got really interested in doing nothing, thinking nothing, sitting & talking about nothing. <br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
turns out i like nothing quite well.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
so i did very little this week except enjoy the ground i'm standing on and my body's fleeting residence on this earth--letting the flaming trees in the canyon and the brightness of the late fall sky & sun take care of me. too many more words than this won't help me to say what i mean. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
i guess i don't mean anything.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
just happy, today, to be.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
xo</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
larahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13967263058541485619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-77555196043102295212014-10-01T22:01:00.001-04:002014-10-01T22:02:43.592-04:00Stevie Didn't Want ThisA well-earned, mostly open Wednesday wherein all I did was revise one nine-page story for submission to a place Lara recommended.<br />
<br />
It's all I did, when I started the day with a list of four things. At least.<br />
<br />
Why do I forget these things should go faster than they do?<br />
<br />
How much does it suck that I have only one really good day in the week to do this, and that I ended up at a PTA-related event tonight.<br />
<br />
I was just reading about Stevie Nicks, how she never wanted to be a parent because she wanted to be an artist and being a parent means a lack of focus and PTA meetings. And Stevie didn't want that.<br />
<br />
I actually find myself volunteering at PTA.<br />
<br />
I write this on the eve of my oldest's 16th birthday. Here we are together, age 34 and one month:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoNZVwvwCksFOZPjI7AqGglGxB99JS1CyrqUAYzTIr2O4VkKcrhDXeOlGebuCG0O8F4Lmy-HqUnGVv_grJ4lZOJtUhWTWI7ALSqrXS-XX8hrRcJ6Ff41f73E82gvs_lSX0nnLxxWUnMFY/s1600/momzoe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoNZVwvwCksFOZPjI7AqGglGxB99JS1CyrqUAYzTIr2O4VkKcrhDXeOlGebuCG0O8F4Lmy-HqUnGVv_grJ4lZOJtUhWTWI7ALSqrXS-XX8hrRcJ6Ff41f73E82gvs_lSX0nnLxxWUnMFY/s1600/momzoe.jpg" height="298" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">everything new</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<br />JThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204273215290917463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-58263581322015116632014-10-01T18:59:00.001-04:002014-10-01T19:09:29.142-04:00it's the birthday of sister gertrude stein's tender, tender buttons<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWjC1WRLU6EzSh_rAyJrOF9xUwye4qSGBheKSzMAsPtCDpU_r7Pnjb9vU6HAqu1SrqAi6n5WBfEazRSmjEcVKcszycqP5LQ7Mwvgbq6K8yU2uE_KPGllKmCJa-WTmCJy7vMnxRSwex5eg/s1600/mountain.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWjC1WRLU6EzSh_rAyJrOF9xUwye4qSGBheKSzMAsPtCDpU_r7Pnjb9vU6HAqu1SrqAi6n5WBfEazRSmjEcVKcszycqP5LQ7Mwvgbq6K8yU2uE_KPGllKmCJa-WTmCJy7vMnxRSwex5eg/s1600/mountain.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">on the mountains of which my poems often speak. including the one on this blog.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
i'm about to read it.<br />
<br />
i wrote this weird little piece, about christmas of all awful subjects for a poem, and was inspired by sister stein.<br />
<br />
hope it's something.<br />
<br />
if not, it's something.<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp_Gm2OPAj22P0eRtkHaE-lt1tdT3VzM85bsSvKsKNLNsvzWDRBC56h5E_5GJTTxEdo-3HlxJYlEHEsBv6hT9U13jQxq1Hv56mPZ-Sq_SXlCn1w7bXogW3sgyyXWFB1IBTBFBhxixs3cY/s1600/Tender_Buttons_1914_5613008-L.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp_Gm2OPAj22P0eRtkHaE-lt1tdT3VzM85bsSvKsKNLNsvzWDRBC56h5E_5GJTTxEdo-3HlxJYlEHEsBv6hT9U13jQxq1Hv56mPZ-Sq_SXlCn1w7bXogW3sgyyXWFB1IBTBFBhxixs3cY/s1600/Tender_Buttons_1914_5613008-L.jpg" height="400" width="243" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">one of the most important works.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>setting off 2013<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>from
</b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><b>merry christmas chapter 22</b><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
was it starry? stilly? were clouds smoky, low, or thick were
we breathing burdened air particulates from wood smoke & car exhaust? was a
stave of psalmody bouncing between the walls of our mountains, here on the wasatch
front, here in our valley of valleys? was our basin filled with a hymn from
some solo from some lit bungalow near the lake? were the feet of the soloist
beautiful? was it christmas day or right before? were we anticipating or
regretting? were we disappointed yet? were we recalling pleasant havens—and glades
eternally vernal—fruit & mead? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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i recall that it was not altogether unpleasant to be so
cold. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>deer foraging in grassy
starry patches down the meadow of locust lane & children donned velvets
& fowls & beasts laid upon the table for us, burnished, roasted<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>
(((flowers were continuing on the mountain and low the valley without our
attentions))) <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>&
the families & bigger families still in the concentric way of families in
private beauty places & so on & so on & we thought some one would
break us & so on & we searched for a break we never found & so it
was as it were <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>and
all</div>
larahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13967263058541485619noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-69596395376901451232014-09-29T17:26:00.002-04:002014-09-29T18:19:28.003-04:00sistahs in zion & a mormon moment part 2 ::: on missing out on kumbayah <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizRBbNqUw5rUBeFim0sFwToJT5p0Iy9MevMp9HFppJ7zOS6CKy-eraMgQeUzjAfTd1Su5vEZ4_wpVJ_pVfQd6XqH7N8PvcsmWZFRDJzxz8kGbmlUv-vNYkuJAPb5Qtkl3iy4L3_mwzgRc/s1600/15566.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizRBbNqUw5rUBeFim0sFwToJT5p0Iy9MevMp9HFppJ7zOS6CKy-eraMgQeUzjAfTd1Su5vEZ4_wpVJ_pVfQd6XqH7N8PvcsmWZFRDJzxz8kGbmlUv-vNYkuJAPb5Qtkl3iy4L3_mwzgRc/s1600/15566.jpg" height="242" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">sistah beehive and sistah laurel</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
this weekend a black woman, that is to say a woman of african descent*, prayed at the opening session of the very important international meetings mormons call "general conference." this was a historic event, as it was the first time a black woman had prayed in a session of general conference. this was an important time for showing the world that mormons are trying to overcome racist practices that have haunted our legacy, a legacy that, to my mind, should be much more radical and inclusive than it currently is.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidNQrHJobGctAA2TwY8GPv1xVxNXQZuhhAVBYOxgBKdnd2TRGgsopXTKQMBb0EsTwT_dNk5Wev1R_pn1phG7dorNlsGTsRqZWxZiNblT7buTFsHkWf8GHrlQg61rZKPxw4DKjfLFQWG0w/s1600/Dorah_Mkhabela.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidNQrHJobGctAA2TwY8GPv1xVxNXQZuhhAVBYOxgBKdnd2TRGgsopXTKQMBb0EsTwT_dNk5Wev1R_pn1phG7dorNlsGTsRqZWxZiNblT7buTFsHkWf8GHrlQg61rZKPxw4DKjfLFQWG0w/s1600/Dorah_Mkhabela.jpg" height="400" width="390" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">sister dora mkhabela, "natural hair diva" of the young women's general board. the first woman of african descent to pray in general conference. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
i listened to the <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/sistasinzion/2014/09/28/there-is-room-for-you">sistahs in zion radiocast</a> this morning, and really felt how deeply white sisters, and especially progressive white sisters who espouse inclusion and progress so vocally, have failed black sisters. <br />
<br />
"i wanted to celebrate. i waited. time will tell, and time did tell. there was nothing." (on the silence in social media from white mormon sisters, particularly mormon feminists after sister mkhabela's prayer.) <br />
<br />
nobody put out a hand to start up the kumbayah circle (an african song, the sistahs said.)<br />
<br />
white mormon feminists did not speak about this historic moment until their black sisters started the ball rolling. <br />
<br />
this was not okay. <br />
<br />
it <i>is</i> not okay.<br />
<br />
a caller on the show phoned in to say that we shouldn't be surprised--that american mormons should be expected to enact racism in the same way other americans enact it--with awkwardness and silence.<br />
<br />
the sistahs defended their pointed attack on mormon feminists, saying that mo fems, of all people should be on this--should be a lot better than we are--because we are so loud in our criticism of inequality.<br />
<br />
i hold mormons to a higher standard, just like the sistahs expected more from white mormon feminists in recognizing the milestone of sister mkhabela's prayer.<br />
<br />
when you're raised mormon, you're taught from early days that there is something special about your religion. that with mormonism, you can embrace the entire globe of humanity, future and past, with the gospel of jesus christ. the <i>mormon</i> gospel of jesus christ, the one that is both similar to and different from other christian congregations. <br />
<br />
the one of supposedly the ultimate inclusion. <br />
<br />
like the sistahs in zion, i have always expected more from my mormon brothers and sisters. maybe i shouldn't, but i do. i was raised to be aspirational and idealistic, because of my religion. <br />
<br />
it might be okay for people "of the world" to be hypocrites, but mormons should be less hypocritical, far less hypocritical, because we are so loud at proclaiming and proselytizing our ultimates. <br />
<br />
<b><i>so it's not okay with me when mormons:</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b>
<b><i>1) embrace & enact racism</i></b><br />
<b><i>2) vote to deny health care, food, clothing, housing and human rights to our brothers and sisters</i></b><br />
<b><i>3) embrace capitalism above the care of individual human beings and the health of our planet</i></b><br />
<br />
being a mormon is pretty hard. it might be why mormons succeed in such large numbers relative to our tiny minority status (14 million members, according to official mormon church data). we learn to sacrifice by spending a lot of hours at church, in service, in donations to the church, in trying to be better every day, and in learning to be part of a community that we didn't necessarily choose to be a part of, from the day we are born, for those of us who are born mormon. <br />
<br />
we can do hard things. we do hard things.<br />
<br />
and we can do even harder things.<br />
<br />
i expect us to.<br />
<br />
despite all of my questions, doubts, and the tiny amount of understanding, or maybe even the complete lack of understanding, i hold about god, the universe, this planet, the weirdness and majesty of humanity & nature, i stay a part of my religion because of its aspirational qualities. listening to the sistahs in zion, i was struck by their devotion even within a hostile environment--a racist and largely white american mormon setting where they nonetheless have found truth and the motivation to serve, teach, and work to be better every day. <br />
<br />
we aspire to hold all things equal (our doctrine says this). we aspire to be a zion people in zion (meaning the utopic time when jesus comes again and the lamb lies down with the lion)--and we aspire to that NOW, not only when jesus comes again.<br />
<br />
sistahs in zion once again don't get to rest. they must be exhausted.<br />
<br />
they have to tell white sisters that we hurt them again, especially the ladies who are working for gender equality and should know better. we need to give them a break. they can't keep up the work on their own. <br />
<br />
we owe them, the world, all our sisters, a break. and a kumbayah.<br />
<br />
*mormons historically denied "peoples of african descent" the priesthood, and some prophets reinforced teachings about the "mark of cain" as reasons for the priesthood ban. so it's important to note that sister dora mkhabela is of african descent, not a "woman of color" as some are calling her.larahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13967263058541485619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-22386461473972687632014-09-25T13:49:00.001-04:002014-09-26T10:33:45.784-04:00& thus we see<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVfKbZjZGR_qn6Xgu83FvVMPHmCHT9GgqFsvPS5ngzULDqPq8B4wd8GXclY2b6uFcA0t-7fjOQPbAJfS-O8QQpVa3UIIXwbAyosu98NucS3ah4L82pX296BdMWuRxOGdU5Ddi1yLWonqg/s1600/photo+(8).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVfKbZjZGR_qn6Xgu83FvVMPHmCHT9GgqFsvPS5ngzULDqPq8B4wd8GXclY2b6uFcA0t-7fjOQPbAJfS-O8QQpVa3UIIXwbAyosu98NucS3ah4L82pX296BdMWuRxOGdU5Ddi1yLWonqg/s1600/photo+(8).JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">what i wore to my reading last friday night.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">i love fall, so julie inspired me to throw together an impromptu rosh hashanah dinner last night, in honor of another new year. we talked about how fall is so much more appropriate for celebrating new year's than january. i made <a href="http://itgetsbutter.blogspot.com/">anna's </a>brisket, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGY3fvhgtPTqiwZkO9KLrTYKTNsKq9nRSzfVg7B70wVVVXRyIlAn9gmpJyDfdUjrsEt-pMKCgz-boETjYkbvYC2NMevml_CNr61WhqVg9awhDIbWfoU5kWjr87iKFbWv2SaGegoOMqZ5s/s1600/photo%20(8).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGY3fvhgtPTqiwZkO9KLrTYKTNsKq9nRSzfVg7B70wVVVXRyIlAn9gmpJyDfdUjrsEt-pMKCgz-boETjYkbvYC2NMevml_CNr61WhqVg9awhDIbWfoU5kWjr87iKFbWv2SaGegoOMqZ5s/s1600/photo%20(8).JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">if i had a jewish grandmother, would she approve of my fancy sterling silver?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and quickly tried to learn about the 100 shofar blasts. turns out it's not a quick learn. i'm still thinking about this:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25.2000007629395px; margin-bottom: 1em;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">tekiah, moan-ululation, tekiah<br />tekiah, moan-ululation, tekiah<br />tekiah, moan-ululation, tekiah</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25.2000007629395px; margin-bottom: 1em;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">tekiah, moan, tekiah<br />tekiah, moan, tekiah<br />tekiah, moan, tekiah</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25.2000007629395px; margin-bottom: 1em;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">tekiah, ululation, tekiah<br />tekiah, ululation, tekiah<br />tekiah, ululation, tekiah</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">*</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">*</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">*</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 25.2000007629395px; margin-bottom: 1em;">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_-KeHhbrr7Sg6e8DEY7ohV_GDRzNwRC664E-g0xSYbEDh4pU48t7ll0cCte6blfgLHV-IAO9QWjU8eYZJiSnZK1dbSWlU7qHb50QHfIgTvb_0WVhh58uTlelRFkCTDsNN7xWohQrJOJo/s1600/photo+(8).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_-KeHhbrr7Sg6e8DEY7ohV_GDRzNwRC664E-g0xSYbEDh4pU48t7ll0cCte6blfgLHV-IAO9QWjU8eYZJiSnZK1dbSWlU7qHb50QHfIgTvb_0WVhh58uTlelRFkCTDsNN7xWohQrJOJo/s1600/photo+(8).JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">apples & honey=sweet new year</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">*</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">*</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">*</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">i'm in a fight with myself, or my body, or mind, or sickness or a big black dog. the good thing now is that i know we'll make up and be at peace again someday, because i've been through this so many times before. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">thanks to julie's coaching, i've managed to stay fairly productive, and keep reading and writing every day, working on projects, and keeping up with teaching, kids, etc. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">i'm still reading susan howe's <i>the birthmark</i> and for fun, a book of essays by nora ephron, <i>i remember nothing.</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></i>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">re-reading adrienne rich's <i>blood, bread, and poetry.</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></i>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">working on mormon lady times essay and moby dick poems, mostly, and it's time to start on the third installment of the moby dick puppet opera libretto.</span><br />
<br />
*<br />
*<br />
*<br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">i'm excited for the weekend. we're going to see <a href="https://www.ticketriver.com/event/12519">brecht's </a><i><a href="https://www.ticketriver.com/event/12519">galileo</a> </i>tomorrow night, then leaving for l.a. on saturday to hear<a href="http://angelcityjazz.com/artists/anthony-braxton-trio"> anthony braxton play</a>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">it's good to have things to look forward to.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">*</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">*</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">* </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">here's a little ditty from the moby dick project. it's silly, and entirely lifted from <i>moby</i>. i have a lot of other new poems, but they're still in process. i don't know if this is anything, but i thought i'd try a concrete poem of sorts. it's from the chapter on the measurement of the whale's skeleton. ishmael talks about how unlike the whale its skeleton is. he looks at the spine tapering into marble sized bones, and says that the priest's children stole the smallest pieces to play marbles with. i wanted the poem to look like it's subject. so i tapered it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">just a silly bit of fluff.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">dead attenuated
skeleton stretched in the peaceful wood<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<b style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><i>(chapter 103 “measurement of the whale’s skeleton”)</i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">even the largest</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">of living things</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">tapers off</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">at last to</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">child’s</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">play</span></div>
larahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13967263058541485619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-3385878725569438172014-09-17T22:42:00.001-04:002014-09-17T23:23:38.507-04:00Ephemeral Fall Inertia<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA2xrVGg-jUYEdZ5YOt4DJrne8-lf9VKkLwqYbq_JGm-ZaCwFBGsKC9leYuYPXw4lZcO-SEvXzB6fOmvjT1ZlHpJoe2zu5YU1ZRAydjUjGRiy7krMCCIvTSL4or7TMOfN5Y2Jy1Ues-3I/s1600/backyard+blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA2xrVGg-jUYEdZ5YOt4DJrne8-lf9VKkLwqYbq_JGm-ZaCwFBGsKC9leYuYPXw4lZcO-SEvXzB6fOmvjT1ZlHpJoe2zu5YU1ZRAydjUjGRiy7krMCCIvTSL4or7TMOfN5Y2Jy1Ues-3I/s1600/backyard+blog.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The view from my computer</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I had a big beautiful perfect fall day in which to work, and got not that much done.<br />
<br />
One thing I realized is that my fiction--now all in Google docs--is a mess. Completely disorganized. I can't find anything. I was supposed to send some stuff out today, but did not.<br />
<br />
But I did randomly pull up a story--my life feels rather random these days--and began to work on it again, and tried to pull it away from its original inspiration--an old friend, no longer living. He died around now--in 2001--a couple of weeks after September 11th of drug-related causes. And I've never gotten over it.<br />
<br />
So maybe pulling up that story wasn't so random after all.<br />
<br />
Inspired by Lara, several hours after this, I went out to read more in Stuart Dybek's recent collection of flash fictions.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRhHnzgLsYxdpuZz_9UkAyV3tGNQfw5ikc7ZN3vGtdGMlIfnNirFNFUWQycvkubAIIgXPYniGIWnyANzadkleG3ckhKB-CYWQJfiIslXo8Zd94baVA4cX5DIVVuwGRZo6eBprd3-Rt48g/s1600/book.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRhHnzgLsYxdpuZz_9UkAyV3tGNQfw5ikc7ZN3vGtdGMlIfnNirFNFUWQycvkubAIIgXPYniGIWnyANzadkleG3ckhKB-CYWQJfiIslXo8Zd94baVA4cX5DIVVuwGRZo6eBprd3-Rt48g/s1600/book.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The view from a tippy chair.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />JThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204273215290917463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-43058920693504532242014-09-12T12:00:00.002-04:002014-09-12T16:56:51.617-04:00to not add a last line<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu3rSyP3vKOdGOzrFjqVWRBJybQTWbFaXEBkNqNedsRPDXKnpTwPfPBnu-6G9r2RZYuIyLyYKBhJ1xi8vZgYCNPKdj49_NaGVZYYRSDu2wqHMsLTtmugBsM77wuPAxBRNFTMIlu52ayBs/s1600/photo+(7).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu3rSyP3vKOdGOzrFjqVWRBJybQTWbFaXEBkNqNedsRPDXKnpTwPfPBnu-6G9r2RZYuIyLyYKBhJ1xi8vZgYCNPKdj49_NaGVZYYRSDu2wqHMsLTtmugBsM77wuPAxBRNFTMIlu52ayBs/s1600/photo+(7).JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">god fugitive: a bosom friend outfit. no, not <i>that</i> kind of bosom.<br />
<br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">i'm on the downswing after the debut of <i>god fugitive: a bosom friend</i>. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">accomplished nothing yesterday.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
today i hope to work on my essay on O, for<i> dialogue's </i>pink issue. i hope it works out<i>.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><br /></i>
i also need to work on a stupid little thing called laundry, teach my online class, and get together an email list to invite people to my reading next friday.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
spend some quality time with my children, who have been neglected for the past week.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
figure out something fun to do for date night.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
last night i did readings for a 9/11 memorial recital. i feel weird about 9/11 memorial stuff that happens outside of nyc. the recitalist chose the readings, but asked me to add one to it, so i did. and that was tough, too. i was trying to avoid anything that would have weird connotations in the context of the music and video feed that went with the readings. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
turns out everything has weird connotations in that context. but, score one for poetry! the recitalist told me that when she sent in the texts to the people making the programs, the whole office stopped to read this poem. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
so haters who hate poetry, take that, and read this.</span><br />
<div class="tab-content active" id="poem-top" style="background-color: white;">
<h1 style="font-weight: normal; margin: 10px 0px 3px; padding: 0px;">
<a href="http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/178603"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Photograph from September 11</span></a></h1>
</div>
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #043d6e; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small; letter-spacing: 0.05em; outline: none; text-decoration: none; text-transform: uppercase;"><a href="http://www.poetryfoundation.org/bio/wisaawa-szymborska" style="background-color: white; color: #043d6e; letter-spacing: 0.05em; outline: none; text-decoration: none; text-transform: uppercase;">WISŁAWA SZYMBORSKA</a></span><br />
<div style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">They jumped from the burning floors—</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">one, two, a few more,</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">higher, lower.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" />
</span><br />
<div style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The photograph halted them in life,</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">and now keeps them </span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">above the earth toward the earth.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" />
</span><br />
<div style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Each is still complete,</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">with a particular face</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">and blood well hidden.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" />
</span><br />
<div style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">There’s enough time</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">for hair to come loose,</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">for keys and coins</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">to fall from pockets.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" />
</span><br />
<div style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">They’re still within the air’s reach,</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">within the compass of places</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">that have just now opened.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" />
</span><br />
<div style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I can do only two things for them—</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">describe this flight</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">and not add a last line.</span></div>
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></i>
<i><br /></i>larahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13967263058541485619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-14496347028977662882014-09-10T16:23:00.001-04:002014-09-11T12:46:08.421-04:00mellow'd my harsh<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_yjiwVreM7qmF0QmOuT7F3_5n8zYpU2qZhmJywCIC18Hd_u6YhjxboPoFZSd7wVMPgJB3jcTIlmB4gtLr1vo6GL2yCicsIOkCC4FUeLCcXB4pljuNIq1IVqCK-ytS-9Vl2ytTUL-ZCw0/s1600/591130-20.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_yjiwVreM7qmF0QmOuT7F3_5n8zYpU2qZhmJywCIC18Hd_u6YhjxboPoFZSd7wVMPgJB3jcTIlmB4gtLr1vo6GL2yCicsIOkCC4FUeLCcXB4pljuNIq1IVqCK-ytS-9Vl2ytTUL-ZCw0/s1600/591130-20.jpg" height="400" width="277" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">anne hutchinson. foremother.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
rough day yesterday. luckily some cool collaborators helped me mellow my harsh when i had a little melt-down during moby dick puppet opera rehearsal. i remember now why doing guerilla experimental opera is for the young. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgep2NJsnx_iZJSDNABAmTgy6ZP2rQdt9v57lPHyRVdi_PLIOJCpliQDF2iURkj2ZqBV54AIBbCYT4-YjxFH2xWgJv24zN8pblw7Q7FMfJOw5-nlbshyphenhyphenK9FPpgS62UEduVfj5E9iol1IdM/s1600/10616510_10204703241560875_3965271291603844366_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgep2NJsnx_iZJSDNABAmTgy6ZP2rQdt9v57lPHyRVdi_PLIOJCpliQDF2iURkj2ZqBV54AIBbCYT4-YjxFH2xWgJv24zN8pblw7Q7FMfJOw5-nlbshyphenhyphenK9FPpgS62UEduVfj5E9iol1IdM/s1600/10616510_10204703241560875_3965271291603844366_n.jpg" height="400" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">queequeg and ishmael are married. photo from hannah johnson, aka the coloratura.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/353161441510662/?ref_dashboard_filter=upcoming">tonight, the deseret experimental opera collective (DEXO) is performing part two of the god fugitive, "a bosom friend", my moby dick puppet opera. </a><br />
<br />
late night rehearsal last night, up early to get kids to school, took a morning nap. <br />
<br />
not super productive today except:<br />
<br />
1) break-through on essay for <a href="http://www.dialoguejournal.com/">this journal</a> that i've been trying to figure out for weeks.<br />
<br />
2) reading about anne hutchinson via susan howe.<br />
<br />
3) off to practice and get some last minute stuff ready for avant-garawge tonight. have to come up with an outfit!<br />
<br />
xo<br />
<br />
CHARGES AGAINST HUTCHINSON: <i>"the Flewentess of her Tonge and her Willingness to open herselfe and to divulge her opinions and to sowe her seed in us that are but highway side and Strayngers to her"</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>a bit like kate kelly, right?</i>larahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13967263058541485619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-67281048113862378992014-09-09T22:20:00.001-04:002014-09-09T23:22:18.011-04:00Tuesday: library clothes at the library<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin9tO-O3jyK5mXfxf2Moe6d_Mq2vaFmU4a_1ZEfykEFq33kKRUGzrGNkcGJ_x-1L_79tY3UNjxuONJhPAz5-8k7s5JWVUy2OVGmi5971zLC38f0jbRB999Z8hu6Biw8SNu-eC7Xk-Z2ew/s1600/bikeselfie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin9tO-O3jyK5mXfxf2Moe6d_Mq2vaFmU4a_1ZEfykEFq33kKRUGzrGNkcGJ_x-1L_79tY3UNjxuONJhPAz5-8k7s5JWVUy2OVGmi5971zLC38f0jbRB999Z8hu6Biw8SNu-eC7Xk-Z2ew/s1600/bikeselfie.jpg" height="211" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't tell me I can't wear my Judas Priest belt to the library.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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If I hadn't been doing this blog with Lara, there is no way I would have opened a Google doc at the reference desk, between being asked by students how to find their text books tonight, and started a story based on something silly I did in Salt Lake City in 1990. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Already, this blog is motivating--even at my most frenzied and exhausted.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Self-portrait above from my bike about to take off for my second work gig of my Tuesday. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Reading Kate Atkinson's<i> Like Life</i>, a narrative that keeps restarting like this day.</div>
JThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204273215290917463noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-17666673615000057702014-09-09T16:23:00.000-04:002014-09-09T17:06:44.261-04:00woodshed<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqhKQl9k581vKrKgJn51n-Zr2P1HURbQqf2gLOjKrZydEX67wGrmgQrIm9MVfGtkGcvTKgUNs4N4ez2GJnVCZMqZHrGo-LkPDb59IEmTtfFrOA9rvXLxXS1VAIsxpfPFhKwuaq_KZ5T6Y/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqhKQl9k581vKrKgJn51n-Zr2P1HURbQqf2gLOjKrZydEX67wGrmgQrIm9MVfGtkGcvTKgUNs4N4ez2GJnVCZMqZHrGo-LkPDb59IEmTtfFrOA9rvXLxXS1VAIsxpfPFhKwuaq_KZ5T6Y/s1600/photo.JPG" height="270" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">it's cold and rainy so i can bring back my tweed dress. i know my head is obscured. i like it that way.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
today read susan howe again.<br />
<br />
slowly devouring her. <br />
<br />
i now feel sufficiently prepared to begin a ph.d program.<br />
<br />
made dinner already, because i had food that needed cooking.<br />
<br />
no writing as of yet. <br />
<br />
taught online courses, comforting and encouraging students about their topic choices. one wants to write about the tiny house movement! hurray, because that means i don't have to read about video games and violence, how evil the federal government is, or the nfl. <br />
<br />
<i>sidebar:</i> i mentioned to my tiny house betopic'd student that no one seems to be examining this so-called tiny house movement. don't most people in the world already live in tiny spaces? i totally get the desire to keep things simple, believe me, but i just find the whole thing weird--mostly white, middle-class people fantasizing about living in darling little trailers and such. <br />
<br />
okay. i don't know if i'll get to write anything new today on account of the number of pieces of new music i have to woodshed between now and kid time and rehearsal time. today felt like a battle in my head: if i don't cook dinner, the food in my fridge will go to waste and we'll have to scrounge for dinner (we've been doing that a lot lately). if i do cook dinner, i'll have to choose between writing and practicing. if i don't practice i'll be humiliated tomorrow night. if i do practice, i'll be putting my writing at lower status than everything else i do today. if i don't make dinner, i'm a bad mother and citizen. <br />
<br />
suddenly the entire world of possibilities is in flux. is there any there there? etc., etc., etc.<br />
<br />
oh, shoot. that sounds really whiny and privileged. i guess it is.<br />
<br />
so i'll leave just leave you with these equally overwhelming notions from howe: <br />
<br />
"the margin submerges phonic substance. a mother's thread or line is ringed with silence so poems are"<br />
<br />
&<br />
<br />
susan howe/jakobson:<br />
<br />
<i>"why do certain works go on saying something else? . . . . jakobson says: 'one of the essential differences between spoken and written language can be seen clearly. the former has a purely temporal character, while the latter connects time and space. while the sounds that we hear disappear, when we read we usually have immobile letters before us and the time of the written flow of words is reversible.'"</i><br />
<br />
&<br />
<br />
"a poem can prevent onrushing light going out."larahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13967263058541485619noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-87565381469229721042014-09-08T21:31:00.003-04:002014-09-08T21:36:13.153-04:00Monday: Pantera Shirt in Cafe Ost<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihvof6itTqIKI7R5zO-ecMeaVODWI_yEflGN4ZHEd-pTcfYw7TvdgpkXgbbJfWB8YZcduOgmdPhel5CtVNo8Pk5OtizTPbLVdL1Oj5EP0dmAJOorcdwG6Yo4g37QP8DhXMs9LVGYiz4TE/s1600/juliepantera.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihvof6itTqIKI7R5zO-ecMeaVODWI_yEflGN4ZHEd-pTcfYw7TvdgpkXgbbJfWB8YZcduOgmdPhel5CtVNo8Pk5OtizTPbLVdL1Oj5EP0dmAJOorcdwG6Yo4g37QP8DhXMs9LVGYiz4TE/s1600/juliepantera.jpg" height="320" width="177" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I had no idea that hours from this moment, random Pantera fans would throw me the devil horns <br />
from their car waiting for a light on the Bowery. Very rejuvenating!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I don't why I have this expression.<br />
<br />
Me, breaking, in Cafe Ost.<br />
<br />
Writing is slippery. I can't think about what I'm doing too much. I can barely blog about it.<br />
<br />
I ingested an Americano AND an iced coffee. Super decadent writing day.<br />
<br />
Also, I recorded in my notebook the names of lit mags that had been encouraging in the past.<br />
<br />
I ended this session by reading a few of Frank O'Hara's <i>Lunch Poems, </i>some of them written in the neighborhood where I wrote today, where I always write.<br />
<br />
I'm not writing about New York, though. I never write about New York.JThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204273215290917463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-1164634206463996602014-09-08T15:59:00.001-04:002014-09-09T11:26:09.756-04:00flooding<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiqhfiKApWL-yZbmsjxi3REL8OMxOfrvI69s9nTf2ChYq098HE6aMh0_FCPUy7VQOHndZhrwXeYXIjCjPgImDDs5UcPHO8zfEQdPmRIKbFuUWJ-X-o9bDHtf9tnG6oFVfT4siILFazgYo/s1600/photo%20(4).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiqhfiKApWL-yZbmsjxi3REL8OMxOfrvI69s9nTf2ChYq098HE6aMh0_FCPUy7VQOHndZhrwXeYXIjCjPgImDDs5UcPHO8zfEQdPmRIKbFuUWJ-X-o9bDHtf9tnG6oFVfT4siILFazgYo/s1600/photo%20(4).JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">today i'm wearing a nightgown. still. at 1.59 p.m. friday i wore my two favorite colors (as ingrid says): leopard and red.</td></tr>
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<br />
i hear it's flooding in arizona, where my family lives, and where i grew up.<br />
<br />
it's also flooding up in provo, utah, where i have more projects on my plate than i can handle this week. <br />
<br />
& i will handle them, although.<br />
<br />
friday got crazy. i read and wrote a lot, but had no time to report in: finished olson's <i>call me ishmael, </i>a worthy, worthy read, and read some other stuff. lots of psalms. both kjv and robert alter translations.<br />
<br />
most notably, i finished the second installment in the god fugitive, my moby dick puppet opera that everyone seems to think is just a gimmick <i>BUT IT'S SUPER NOT--it's my current spiritual home.</i><br />
<br />
gave the libretto to christian on saturday morning at 11.30 am. he spent the day and night composing, and stayed up most of last night writing. we rehearse this afternoon, perform on <a href="http://www.publicationstudio.biz/books/248">wednesday night at the avant garawge.</a><br />
<br />
sunday i sang with the raddest musicians i know. a dream team of people who love creative music and early music just as much as i do. we sang machaut, hildegard, and asplund. all thrilling. it's seriously celestial. splendid gems in those manuscripts. and my soul feels like it's back in my body now that i'm doing music again on a more regular basis.<br />
<br />
one of the things that struck me hard during the reading phase of my doctoral program was how inseparable musical and poetic practices are for me. and the question of how they became so opposed to each other is one i haven't really answered, but wish to explore for a long time yet to come.<br />
<br />
today i'm writing in my nightgown, still. just finished my lunch of cheese & tomato sandwich and diet coke. no more pecan sandies with dark chocolate chips. i'm trying to wean myself from those, so i made do with a spoonful of nutella for dessert.<br />
<br />
began <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Birth-mark-unsettling-wilderness-American/dp/0819562637">susan howe's <i>the birth-mark</i></a>, recommended to me by <a href="http://www.publicationstudio.biz/books/248">this fine poet</a>, and i'm gobbling it up. i wrote a stupid poem based on "the candles" chapter of <i>moby dick </i>(i may have already told you that christian's mom, aka bammy, the funniest woman i know, calls it "mobile dick," right?)<i>. </i>i was quite taken with the image of the crew of the pequod frozen during a scary typhoon in which the ship is struck by lightening "in enchanted attitudes" like the skeletons of pompeii--in mid-stride, or jump, or run, or walk.<br />
<br />
also, this from my shero susan howe: <br />
<br />
"emily dickinson's writing is my strength and shelter. i have trespassed into the disciplines of american studies and textual criticism through my need to fathom what wildness and absolute freedom is the nature of expresssion. . . . poetry unsettles our scrawled defences; unapprehensible but dear nevertheless."<br />
<br />
aaaahhhhh-men.larahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13967263058541485619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-33770965266283922112014-09-05T23:29:00.001-04:002014-09-06T08:46:38.748-04:00Pen and Paper<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Short work day meant I could get some writing done. I was floored, however, to discover that Think Coffee on the Bowery has no wifi. I just needed a little to open Gmail do I could get on a Google doc, with which one can work offline. But no.<br />
<br />
Luckily, I had a pen and notebook in my bag. Hurrah for pens and notebooks.<br />
<br />
I worked on new fiction--a new short story. Not inspired by the Kate Atkinson novel I'm reading.<br />
<br />
Later, I worked on old fiction--the novella. If it's any good, I don't know about it.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilC4WcGUEDRfsxdhac67FDjMCG61nglqn8SdDT4re0XfeH4O4ohzYKlZRE7rknXb7wr-VctW3FNuzDAQHkKohm3EcU5Y51iftK3dSdsP6gEQUAWGx3-seMJz1NlIU2WxXKFDMvLwmcU6M/s1600/anote.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilC4WcGUEDRfsxdhac67FDjMCG61nglqn8SdDT4re0XfeH4O4ohzYKlZRE7rknXb7wr-VctW3FNuzDAQHkKohm3EcU5Y51iftK3dSdsP6gEQUAWGx3-seMJz1NlIU2WxXKFDMvLwmcU6M/s1600/anote.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Where I wrote--indecipherably<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGjNqszZELq_5mpiFRpuRhwOyoVD9rvJu-o8bmFxezbUQSqrLZzI9o3sJzDPRDvge899nHZgiQhyIlYbvoxs5zongrVJbtpG8enooJQsY-Ah2lTSTAqaRngmi71hIqeW-hU-kRupKwzWY/s1600/ajulie1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGjNqszZELq_5mpiFRpuRhwOyoVD9rvJu-o8bmFxezbUQSqrLZzI9o3sJzDPRDvge899nHZgiQhyIlYbvoxs5zongrVJbtpG8enooJQsY-Ah2lTSTAqaRngmi71hIqeW-hU-kRupKwzWY/s1600/ajulie1.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dirty hair alley selfie on the way to some sad novella writing</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />JThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204273215290917463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-5963578056321490212014-09-04T22:02:00.000-04:002014-09-04T22:14:32.858-04:00Minimal After Work Rambling (Trying to Stay Connected to Lara and Our Blog)Again, work.<br />
<div>
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I feel like I'm in the mines. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I push my bike home against traffic.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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I think about words that I never get to write down. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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I press my face up against bookstore windows.</div>
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<br /></div>
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My dangling helmet drops off and crashes to the cement. </div>
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I wear it, compromised. Dirty.</div>
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<div>
I'm reading a lot of women writers this year. I read two back to back, set in the 1970s. Both depict the decade as pretty crummy: one urban, the other--white trash suburban. Both respective authors (Dylan Landis and Darcey Steinke) sketch out the decade as bad for girls. Darcey Steinke, the author of <i>Sister Golden Hair</i> is on Twitter, waiting for my review. Well, i'm hoping she is. I tweeted I was reading it. And she tweeted back that she was happy I was reading. She interviewed Kurt Cobain in the '90s and her '70s novel is full of rock references. Really though, she just mentions Skynyd, the Allman Brothers and Cher, over and over again.</div>
<div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih_h7wBruIejmz3_yM4r89wWuPI08bI19chyphenhyphenIjQcKgVQ9RM6LXaQZx6BfGbHJgDpUkSJeMZiMZVHB5J7brKSpIrIlpKQ22fYYZjezvwtQIjeYr-XzYwcJ7gJdZlCOpf2kBW2ZRApbnl0c/s1600/darcey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih_h7wBruIejmz3_yM4r89wWuPI08bI19chyphenhyphenIjQcKgVQ9RM6LXaQZx6BfGbHJgDpUkSJeMZiMZVHB5J7brKSpIrIlpKQ22fYYZjezvwtQIjeYr-XzYwcJ7gJdZlCOpf2kBW2ZRApbnl0c/s1600/darcey.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Darcey Steinke, born in 1962. I met her at the Book Expo and she was so nice. I doubt she remembers me.</td></tr>
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JThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204273215290917463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-25520783244614190662014-09-04T19:36:00.001-04:002014-09-08T22:44:04.985-04:00tiny hand, holding mortal frame to eternal spirit, or something<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsiKxrh1RIQhRnLWiTUhGg3QN38jb2fERlkHZutdU3GsrN0OxiMY8a27v_mG0RwGoqFZT-MmBlKtQE-9H_zFeOmZu2ee9UAx6HoKLiyUlyWaQe6usm-Z-IShVpG9LN_w0CXWJBAhTaRiM/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsiKxrh1RIQhRnLWiTUhGg3QN38jb2fERlkHZutdU3GsrN0OxiMY8a27v_mG0RwGoqFZT-MmBlKtQE-9H_zFeOmZu2ee9UAx6HoKLiyUlyWaQe6usm-Z-IShVpG9LN_w0CXWJBAhTaRiM/s1600/photo.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">what i wore: uniqlo house dress, h&m lace up HIGH boots, bicycle chain necklace, earrings from harmony, vintage cameo ring from antoinette's. mac russian red lipstick. ralph lauren men's cologne. don't know what it's called.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
i wore clothes and shoes and jewelry today. and lipstick. AND SHOES. that i wore to the mailbox.<br />
<br />
i ate my current daily lunch--open face cheese sandwich in broiler (so it gets those beautiful brown bubbles in the cheese) with sliced tomatoes, mayonnaise, kosher salt and freshly ground pepper, a diet coke & pecan sandies with dark chocolate chips. sometimes i eat the same thing for lunch every day for months. and then i hate it and never eat it again.<br />
<br />
<b>i read:</b><br />
<br />
**nathaniel hawthorne's "the birthmark" which is as awesome a story as you might ever read.<br />
<br />
**zadie smith's essay "some notes on attunement," which also kind of blew me away, especially the section on abraham and isaac.<br />
<br />
**marcia aldrich's essay "the art of being born," enjoyable, and sad. where was her doula? where was my doula, way back when?<br />
<br />
**chapter 33 "the specksynder" and chapter 34 "the cabin-table" from <i>moby dick.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<b>i wrote:</b><br />
<br />
** the poem "poor & butterless," and the poem "remove your shoes"<br />
<br />
<b>i submitted:</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
**three poems to a journal who encouraged me to resubmit once, but has nonetheless rejected my work seven times now.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB86MmdoFH8_IStQa8h5V8l5zMkD9e_1YwECIt-QuS6UXSLZ8wiwhBLH0HlTDlvcbmd3b4s3EYS0AtI-RIcTyXCGwlS1WMYl8vnIGa4_KimkqFcRHvwv9ObSVpbi4HfvfVnCJNoQfGywo/s1600/4c7ccf0d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB86MmdoFH8_IStQa8h5V8l5zMkD9e_1YwECIt-QuS6UXSLZ8wiwhBLH0HlTDlvcbmd3b4s3EYS0AtI-RIcTyXCGwlS1WMYl8vnIGa4_KimkqFcRHvwv9ObSVpbi4HfvfVnCJNoQfGywo/s1600/4c7ccf0d.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">i would write so much better in this kimono & peach mules.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>i thought about proposing a performance art project wherein i enact a year of proustian living. the first item in my budget would be this emerald kimono, followed by these kitten slides, which i would only wear to the kitchen to get beverages & snacks. </b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b><br /></b>
larahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13967263058541485619noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-2022984581808618702014-09-03T21:36:00.000-04:002014-09-04T11:50:19.852-04:00business time<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz4MiGaiZgx-DFPHpX56FKQgdAw1zGod-cegC0dNuF47pdg5se-jqiOTpwUPFawdvQSq5YmsUVlCDKT7c_BsgoDwVFdv5udbxfBus81WKR-ZhfyL-C0BRzNC3o3viS_4y0GR31pEDQwlo/s1600/20130731_165654.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz4MiGaiZgx-DFPHpX56FKQgdAw1zGod-cegC0dNuF47pdg5se-jqiOTpwUPFawdvQSq5YmsUVlCDKT7c_BsgoDwVFdv5udbxfBus81WKR-ZhfyL-C0BRzNC3o3viS_4y0GR31pEDQwlo/s1600/20130731_165654.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">photo i took at last summer's writers' residency. it was so productive that it tempted me to abandon my principles for the day.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
i kind of told myself i wouldn't spend a lot of time on writing business (i.e. grant applications, proposals, etc.) vs. writing, the production of work.<br />
<br />
all artists are doing it these days. you <i>have</i> to be a careerist as well as an artist to "make it" (whatever that means--for my purposes it means getting published, winning awards, getting gigs, jobs, residencies, and readings. usually for tiny amounts of money and recognition.) <br />
<br />
and then you realize that "making it" means you don't have as much time as you need to "make it."<br />
<br />
got it?<br />
<br />
so, last year, i was not "making it" in either sense of the word, but was getting a ph.d instead. so in 2014 i decided to stop thinking overly much about my career and to instead think about work. <br />
<br />
i don't know if this was a good decision.<br />
<br />
today i fell off the wagon and applied for a writer's residency, and if i get it, i might have to reconsider this resolve. however, i do feel kind of sad and empty and insecure inside now. i seriously feel really depressed after pushing the "submit" button, not satisfied that i completed something.<br />
<br />
and jealous of people who have "made" it,<br />
<br />
and questioning my purpose, and choices, etc. <br />
<br />
this bad feeling has affirmed my choice to focus away from this business stuff, to choose so carefully how i spend my time.<br />
<br />
i have my own projects, my own work space, my own group of local artists and musicians to work with, and that's lucky and good. here and now. <br />
<br />
a residency is a splendid thing. i've only done one, and i think i got a year's worth of work done in ten days, but getting them takes a lot of time, and they're very competitive, so your chances are slim.<br />
<br />
so back to thinking about what i'm gonna do back in my d.i.y. head-space tomorrow.<br />
<br />
<b>report:::: today i:</b><br />
<br />
**finished parts 3 and 4 of olson's <i>call me ishmael</i> (done with that book)<br />
<br />
**revised tuesday's poem<br />
<br />
**applied to hedgebrooklarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13967263058541485619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-77766680225116639242014-09-02T23:25:00.001-04:002014-09-03T10:32:02.672-04:00habit schmabit<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhDA6eQsh9ryvlglxTdLiGUlYiFhrLKD-ZEWYx8fdeK9rskvKWcOdUG3Jt_iK9LeaUbrf9u75ZECD51kQVV5aed4gXFoz2h_e1nWtmrAXS55vzLl0VECpBwyey_kLPiNozZonKeUBxqhw/s1600/8000623_15947111_lz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhDA6eQsh9ryvlglxTdLiGUlYiFhrLKD-ZEWYx8fdeK9rskvKWcOdUG3Jt_iK9LeaUbrf9u75ZECD51kQVV5aed4gXFoz2h_e1nWtmrAXS55vzLl0VECpBwyey_kLPiNozZonKeUBxqhw/s1600/8000623_15947111_lz.jpg" height="640" width="321" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">guilt trip</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
i got one thing done today.<br />
actually at 3 a.m. during an episode of insomnia. <br />
the rest of my day was taken with various obligations, some commitments i had made, some unforeseen little family crises. <br />
<br />
at 3 a.m. i got ravished by an uninvited muse and wrote a new poem, and it was a sweet, sweet moment.<br />
<br />
so i won't complain about the thwarting of my plans, because in sum, it was a difficult day and also a better day than i could have predicted.<br />
<br />
a stanza from my muse:<br />
<br />
<i>i was young then,</i><br />
<i>and that was all.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
more later, when time has passed and i can vet the whole thing with some distance from the newly birthed verses.<br />
<br />
also, <a href="http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2013/12/16/writers-wakeup-times-literary-productivity-visualization/">this pesky chart and analysis </a>showing the relationship between the time an author arises and how productive that author is. i still want more proof of a cause/effect relationship between early rising and excessive artistic prolificacy. <br />
<br />
nonetheless, barring proof, i will continue to fret that i will never be as productive as the compulsive 4 am risers.<br />
<br />larahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13967263058541485619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7632941727207751747.post-83916571574746535272014-09-02T22:58:00.003-04:002014-09-02T23:05:20.073-04:00Tuesdays? Gone?Tuesdays will bring me down semester. They will be the death of me.<br />
<br />
Working for 9 am to 9 pm--in between, a small window in which to swing in to the grocery store on the way home from subway, wave to famed street photographer Clayton Patterson from across the street and get an iced coffee at Cakeshop--fuel for biking to work and working through my night gig.<br />
<br />
I did not write. Only thought about the writing of others. And the songs of others.<br />
<br />
Beginning of semester. Needy swarms of students. You know how I love to help.<br />
<br />
What inspiration can I steal from Skynyrd, circa 1976? TUESDAY'S GONE! Emotional indulgence? Should I throw a train in somewhere? Look out how the keyboard player segues seamlessly from piano to organ--how can I translate THAT to the page?<br />
<br />
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<br />JThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05204273215290917463noreply@blogger.com0