Last Tights: Julie/Lara Final

Julie:

At this blog's beginning--Dec 31, 2011, to be precise--I had thought that our year of consistent blogging might magically conjure up money/success/beauty/all good things along the "new agey" lines of The Secret.  And maybe someone got those things--someone remotely connected to this blog--but I didn't.  That night a year ago--I was almost frantically Fb chatting with Lara--and I felt a tad desperate and little bit hopeful.

But while I didn't get the big results I was hoping for, I did get the following:

This:  

1.  An articulate year.  I know that sounds weird, but for the first time that I can remember, the days were articulated.  I remembered a lot more about my 2012 then I remember remembering about previous years.  One of our goals for this blogging year was to make each day count, even in a small way.  And I think we succeeded.

2.  More writing.  I seem to have gotten the courage to send stories out this year in a way that was more consistent than a decade preceding.  And while I got no publications, I got some gracious rejections.

3.  More work.  One of my goals was to make more money and I did.  That was just dumb luck, most likely--but I do feel like my contributions at work are valued.

4.  A metaphor.  It kind of blew my mind to work with Lara on the same metaphor a year:  tight places, tightness.

5.  Tights.  Indulging my insatiable love for and addiction to form fitting elasticized legwear.

6.  Worthy tight place girls.  Working our four questions over and over again to highlight the work and lives of amazing women.  Doing this always very moving for me.  Having contact with the peeps who guest blogged made me feel like I've lived a rich life.

7.  Lara.  I was so lucky to have almost consistent contact all year with one of my best friends and favorite people on the planet.   Sometimes Lara and I would have similar days, 2000 miles apart.   This alone, made all the time and effort I put into the blog totally worth it.

Needs Improvement:

1.  Blogging took up a lot of time.  At times it seemed like a chore.  At times I was blogging instead of writing (for fun and profit).  This face, especially, made me but a lot of pressure on the blog to DO SOMETHING to us, already!

2.  Blogging kept me on the computer and online a lot more than I wanted to do.  Given that all my work is computer based, this was a drag and contributed to my carpel tunnel.  :-(

What I've learned:  

1.   I may toil away forever in obscurity.
2.   I may have to work for many more years to get the kind of success I envision.
3.   I can't give up--no matter how stupid and/or pointless it feels to keep going.

This Year's Model (is Super Boring):
It's still a little nebulous, but I want '13 GITP iteration to be very practical.  I want it to be a working blog where I set publish weekly goals--mostly writing goals (resolutions?)--and then post about how I accomplished them--or not.  I know this sounds super boring for readers, but I never got that many readers anyway.  And I'm not bitter.  It was what it was, and I was and am deeply grateful for those who took the time to read me.   One takeaway as the year closes, is that I need to accomplish a lot more in 2013.   I have big dreams, Charlie Brown!  And I need the pressure of putting what I want to do online to help me accomplish at least one of these.   Of course, tights will be HUGE.

new year's eve outfit & tights.

lara:

like julie, i didn't have the massive "secret-esque" magical breakthrough that i wished for, but, what does that song say again?

it's not about getting what you want, it's  about wanting what you got.

or something.

damn her.

i hate her,

but she's right.

i've already written my assessment of 2012 goals, some of the things i learned from the artist's way,  and about my 2013 goals, so i won't go into that again, but here are the top four things i got from daily blogging:

1) i learned to stop whining and to start appreciating.  i'm ashamed now of how sorry i've felt for myself in the past for no reason whatsoever.  blogging every day made me open my eyes every day to my life as it "authentically is" (john cage!) and stop wishing for a different life.

2) articulation--julie's right on about this.  i gained a new boldness (some may say an embarrassing amount of boldness) and a new ability to confidently state what i mean and what i want. like tonight we're going out for new year's eve for the first time in many, many years.  every year i want to go out, but i haven't made it happen for one reason or another.  this year, i felt newly empowered to say what i want and to make it happen.

3)  i learned to finish something.  i have a long history of quitting or giving up.  i  feel proud that we finished the project of blogging every day for a year.

4)  i learned to love my materials more.  working with them every day in a more consistent way has made me want to do it more, not less.  and i think that's the most important thing in earthly life--to love your mater.

what next year will look like:

1) posting a few times a week.  a guest blogger once a month.  i don't know what next year's posts will be like--i just plan to free-form it, and i really hope i will still be in nearly daily contact with julie.  getting to commune with her from a distance is something i hope to keep up in 2013.

2) i'll be blogging about poetry and writing on my author's website, which should be ready in the next few days.

3) wearing more/cooler tights.  until there are no more and we have to wait for the next tights fashion cycle.

happy new years, dear GITP readers, and i humbly thank you for reading and indulging my love of words, food, children, dresses, tights, and julie!

xxoo