finishing the manuscript

from the holiday card we never sent.  i love the colors, and these two finished manuscripts.

i started this project the gentian weaves & her fringes, a collection of poems using material from emily dickinson, in 2008.  it seems to take five years for me to finish a larger project--and not because i'm not spending enough time on it daily, but i need that much time for conscious and unconscious forces to do their work.

like other projects i've finished of this same scale, i thought it was finished after two years, but it really, really wasn't.

i need a lot of time away from things to figure out what they need to do.  it really doesn't seem like it's up to me. it really doesn't seem that, if i had worked on nothing but this project for a year,  crammed all five years of work into a single year, it would have had the same outcome.  at all.

so, so, so   ::::    i think i'm really done!  i'm sure i'll do a few more tweaks.  but for now, i'm gonna do as my dear husband recommends and freeze the design.

finding a publisher for a work like this is at least another year's worth of work. 

now i can move on to something new.

yay!

as (one of) my (many) therapist(s) said: you love beginnings.  you need to learn to make middles more fun.  it's true!  what i just did was a middle of sort.  it won't really be done until the book is published, and i feel proud for getting through the stills.

i need to celebrate.  this is the first completed new year's resolution of 2013.

what should i do?

here's the table of contents.  i think it  looks pretty cool, and will look even cooler in a real book:

 

a sudden (((bright coin)))........ 8

ambuscade of clover........ 9

angels babble........ 10

beetle’s ordination........ 13

buttercups rannunculae........ 15

chartered (((from my otter’s window)))........ 17

(((daffodils))) :: (((my blondines)))::........ 19

declined day—phantom’s bare & groping feet........ 20

((dim)) & unsuspected tenderness........ 21

eyes—little trees—........ 24

& favorite tints........ 26

gaunt swimmers ransomed........ 29

globe—bashful—humming........ 30

(((green cartiers)))—........ 31

*(((hoard of gems)))........ 33

(((   i died)))........ 35

i gather idle (((bumble-bees)))........ 36

jointed—........ 38

king’s fork........ 40

lost—the stolid bee........ 42

my tree........ 44

(((moth-star dropt))) last night &........ 45

night hid her throes:........ 47

(((o))) heart-sodden &........ 49

our antiquary ransacks august........ 50

pare this apple........ 52

& pauper’s slit &........ 53

(((parceled))) in yellow tulle—........ 54

peeps onto that sleeping egg........ 55

quivering—........ 57

ragged phoebes (((tremor)))........ 59

rapt: morning::........ 60

:: rouge november—........ 61

september’s escutcheon........ 63

snow falls april (across the altar)........ 64

the child is a small ear........ 67

the (((timbral))) flickers—........ 69

this (((broily))) day........ 70

***throng of acorns........ 71

unfrequented & august........ 73

vane turns in zephyret........ 75

we have slendered ourselves........ 77

window’s anodyne does not fail—........ 78

extacy &&&&&........ 80

yclept........ 82

zinnia?........ 84

the provo scene

for as long as i can remember, people have been talking about how a great provo arts scene is just on the horizon.  indeed, it always seems to be on the cusp without ever tipping over.  the last month has been filled with events that have made me feel more confident that it could tip one day--a great exhibit in BYU's Harris Fine Arts' Center,  the strong showing and interest i got at my poetry reading and at our last Locust Salon, the little zines and poetry readings that are popping up around town, my neighbor who's at Pratt right now, and a lot of other little examples.  if nothing else, people are serious about their art--mormons tend to be serious about their lives in general, it seems.

so, after a horrid day at the mall, (i heard a man saying this to his wife, who was trying on boots:  "karen, you know you can't get away without a heel.  your legs are too short." i had to go immediately to see's chocolates for a free sample to calm myself down after that.)  i ran into my dear friend andi's bread art in this video featuring andi's amazing bread and some of the provo artists on the scene here.  kinda cool.

if i may be so bold, though, i want to see my fellow mo's get a lot more courageous about their aesthetics.  we need to not be timid, people--a)  we're weird. get over it and stop trying to fake normalcy and fit in, b) this means we have all kinds of strange and cool resources in our backgrounds to draw upon, and c) accept the fact that we got it goin' on.

tights: will be wearing turquoise tights, i think.

looking forward:  to music night at jane's.  just made pasta puttanesca to bring.