back in the a.m.

eva in prada heels

anna in vintage red heels

cecy in golden tights and t-strap holiday shoes 

guys, i have stuff to write and pics to post.

but, in the depths of another round of strep throat and

spent many hours in three doc offices today with

streppy mo

and sicky mama

and truncated day and

still have grading to do.

but right now

must rest.

so back tomorrow, i hope.

xo

small & barely perceptible

finished paisley notebook yesterday, started teal feather journal today.

monday and tuesday were full and pretty frantic, so today was slow and a little dull, a tiny bit depressing.  but a few small, good things happened.

sexy close-up of my artist's shrine/altar thingy.

1) yesterday i finished another artist's way morning pages notebook.  i did the artist's way last summer and, though i didn't have the huge breakthrough that some adherents profess to, i'm still noticing the changes that continue to occur.  now i'm quite wedded to the act of  spending time every morning writing in a meditative writing practice, one that's separate from my artistic writing practice.  a sitting meditation or a silent prayer practice has never worked  for me, but this notebook thing.  i'm trying not to sound fanatical about it.

as a formerly cynical person who didn't believe in anything. . . . i might be starting to develop some sort of. . . belief?

wow.

i can't believe i said that.

if you squint, these kind of look like a cool textile print or something.

2) sweet potato/russet potato garlic home fries.  the way they looked all lined up on the baking sheets, kind of design-y and all, brought me a surprising amount of pleasure.  and then they looked great after they were roasted and browned.  and then they tasted great.

(hint:  it's all about the flaky salt, which you should add before, during, and after the roasting process.)

believe me when i say:  flaky salt must be applied before, during, and after

3) moses was home recovering from strep throat today.  it's a great moment when, suddenly, the antibiotics have done their job and the kid starts eating and jumping around and laughing again.  i always say strep throat trumps a virus any day. (except when you're an adult :( )  24 hours of pink liquid and you're golden.

i might need to ask for her new book, dream more, for christmas. . . .

4)  dolly parton and stephen colbert singing love is like a butterfly together.  i'm sorry.  i know i need to join a dolly super fan support group, but i love her SO much.  i love her laugh, especially, and the way, even though she's lost a lot of her voice to age, she still works it, still has so much soul.

legwear: yoga pants

looking forward to: seeing anna karenina with friends this weekend

inspiration: dolly's laugh

circumscribed

not sure what to say tonight.

my world feels so tight and small right now.

in a way, being sick reminds you to be more grateful for health &

for the ability to chew and eat food,

to sleep,

to blithely go about your business free of pain,

to do your  work,

and so on.

so, yeah, i'm grateful that i will soon be back to full health again,

going about my business.

it's good

to have the tight places to remind you of the loose places.

laid out flat

last pool party of the season

i had such big plans and high hopes for last weekend.  c. was traveling and so i made a packed agenda to keep us all occupied and happy in his absence. and things went pretty well until i got dog-piled, mowed down, flat laid out,  by the evil streptococcus A bacteria.

we made it to our last picnic of the season in southfork canyon.  we made it to the last pool party at a friend's amazing space that she has sadly just sold, we made it to h&m, a family sleepover at eva and anna's apartment, music and the spoken word (so very cheesy, and yet i cry a little any time i hear the glorious sound that choir can make in that amazing acoustical space--can somebody please do something about the repertoire?), we made it to breakfast, and then the part i was most excited about-- anna's brisket for a rosh hashanah dinner--that was the part i missed when i started shaking like an aspen tree.  when i felt like i was actually dying.  when i knew i had strep throat.

i found this on my bed when i woke up.

that was sunday morning, and it is only tonight that i feel well enough to blog and to think i might actually some day recover.  this morning i was wondering who was going to take care of everything while i was in the hospital on i.v. antibiotics.  this morning i diagnosed myself with a peritonsillar abscess, and i was right!  (i love it when my diagnoses are correct.)

so grateful for moses and for medicine.

i got into urgent care, got on a new antibiotic, got some lydacaine and codeine for the pain, and things are looking way, way up.

can i tell you how much i love modern medicine?  i frequently obsess about what i would do without access to painkillers.

but that's probably TMI.  so forget i said that.

for the first time in three days, though, i can honestly say:  it's good to be alive.