sistahs in zion & a mormon moment part 2 ::: on missing out on kumbayah

sistah beehive and sistah laurel

this weekend a black woman, that is to say a woman of african descent*, prayed at the opening session of the very important international meetings mormons call "general conference."  this was a historic event, as it was the first time a black woman had prayed in a session of general conference. this was an important time for showing the world that mormons are trying to overcome racist practices that have haunted our legacy, a legacy that,  to my mind, should be much more radical and inclusive than it currently is.

sister dora mkhabela, "natural hair diva" of the young women's general board.  the first woman of african descent to pray in general conference. 

i listened to the sistahs in zion radiocast this morning, and really felt how deeply white sisters, and especially progressive white sisters who espouse inclusion and progress so vocally, have failed black sisters.

"i wanted to celebrate.  i waited.  time will tell, and time did tell.  there was nothing." (on the silence in social media from white mormon sisters, particularly mormon feminists after sister mkhabela's prayer.)

nobody put out a hand to start up the kumbayah circle (an african song, the sistahs said.)

white mormon feminists did not speak about this historic moment until their black sisters started the ball rolling.

this was not okay.

it is not okay.

a caller on the show phoned in to say that we shouldn't be surprised--that american mormons should be expected to enact racism in the same way other americans enact it--with awkwardness and silence.

the sistahs defended their pointed attack on mormon feminists, saying that mo fems, of all people should be on this--should be a lot better than we are--because we are so loud in our criticism of inequality.

i hold mormons to a higher standard, just like the sistahs expected more from white mormon feminists in recognizing the milestone of sister mkhabela's prayer.

when you're raised mormon, you're taught from early days that there is something special about your religion.  that with mormonism, you can embrace the entire globe of humanity, future and past, with the gospel of jesus christ.  the mormon gospel of jesus christ, the one that is both similar to and different from other christian congregations.

the one of supposedly the ultimate inclusion.

like the sistahs in zion, i have always expected more from my mormon brothers and sisters.  maybe i shouldn't, but i do.  i was raised to be aspirational and idealistic, because of my religion.

it might be okay for people "of the world" to be hypocrites, but mormons should be less hypocritical, far less hypocritical,  because we are so loud at proclaiming and proselytizing our ultimates.

so it's not okay with me when mormons:

1) embrace & enact racism
2) vote to deny health care, food, clothing, housing and human rights to our brothers and sisters
3) embrace capitalism above the care of individual human beings and the health of our planet

being a mormon is pretty hard.  it might be why mormons succeed in such large numbers relative to our tiny minority status (14 million members, according to official mormon church data).  we learn to sacrifice by spending a lot of hours at church, in service, in donations to the church, in trying to be better every day, and in learning to be part of a community that we didn't necessarily choose to be a part of, from the day we are born, for those of us who are born mormon.

we can do hard things.  we do hard things.

and we can do even harder things.

i expect us to.

despite all of my questions, doubts, and the tiny amount of understanding, or maybe even the complete lack of understanding, i hold about god, the universe, this planet, the weirdness and majesty of humanity & nature, i stay a part of my religion because of its aspirational qualities.  listening to the sistahs in zion, i was struck by their devotion even within a hostile environment--a racist and largely white american mormon setting where they nonetheless have found truth and the motivation to serve, teach, and work to be better every day.

we aspire to hold all things equal (our doctrine says this).  we aspire to be a zion people in zion (meaning the utopic time when jesus comes again and the lamb lies down with the lion)--and we aspire to that NOW, not only when jesus comes again.

sistahs in zion once again don't get to rest.  they must be exhausted.

they have to tell white sisters that we hurt them again, especially the ladies who are working for gender equality and should know better. we need to give them a break.  they can't keep up the work on their own.

we owe them, the world, all our sisters, a break.  and a kumbayah.

*mormons historically denied "peoples of african descent" the priesthood, and some prophets reinforced teachings about the "mark of cain" as reasons for the priesthood ban.  so it's important to note that sister dora mkhabela is of african descent, not a "woman of color" as some are calling her.

Bystanding: Confession & Apology

The firs LDS Relief Society presidency.

“All segregation statutes are unjust because segregation distorts the soul and damages the personality. It gives the segregator a false sense of superiority and the segregated a false sense of inferiority. Segregation, to use the terminology of the Jewish philosopher Martin Buber, substitutes an "I it" relationship for an "I thou" relationship and ends up relegating persons to the status of things. Hence segregation is not only politically, economically and sociologically unsound, it is morally wrong and sinful. Paul Tillich has said that sin is separation. Is not segregation an existential expression of man's tragic separation, his awful estrangement, his terrible sinfulness?”

“I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season." Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.”                                                   

 --Martin Luther King  A Letter from Birmingham Jail

Ordain Women on their way to ask for admittance to LDS General Priesthood Session.

This weekend, I stood by while a group of brave women showed up in Salt Lake City to request entrance to the all-male priesthood session.  Though the women and allies of Ordain Women were denied access to the meeting, their actions definitively shaped the discourse of the October 2013 sessions of The LDS Church General Conference. Concerns about gender roles, and especially the roles of women,  were addressed in each session.  

The talks about women continued in the beloved and much defended Mormon tradition of benevolent sexism.   (Despite complaints by those who feel this stereotyping and limiting of Mormon women is damaging and offensive.)

These sermons were delivered by all men and only one woman.

None of the speakers, however, answered the main question asked directly by OW: will you pray for revelation about female ordination? Speakers fell back on explanations that were neither fully reasonable nor fully evidence based, even in the documents of our own history and scripture.  Some of the questions I wish we could talk about more explicitly and accurately include: 

1.

Why was female ordination revoked (there was no acknowledgment in the meeting that early female ordination existed, despite the fact that anyone who can Google can discover this fact.) Instead, there was a tacit implication in several talks that the priesthood has always been held only by men.  I believe the wording was deliberately carefully vague in order to avoid statements that might later be challenged by facts of history.  Nonetheless, the implication that priesthood has only ever been held by men hung over the conference without explanation or evidence-based backing.

Where is the sin in asking for and expecting transparent, fully truthful explanations?  If the answer around female ordination is, “we really don’t know right now,” tell us.  If the answer is, “We believe Joseph Smith was wrong to allow women to ask him to start the Relief Society/receive revelation/inquire of the Lord about Word of Wisdom, etc.,” tell us.  If the answer is, “We think female ordination in the early days was different from female ordination now,” say that.  If the answer is, “It says here that only men should hold the priesthood.  We are going with that scripture rather than this scripture here for X, Y, and Z reasons,” please tell us.  If the answer is, “We don’t yet know how to address female ordination in a global church that we are only beginning to understand,” why not just say that?

Parsing words and being opaque can make listeners feel there is a need to cover up or hide.  Transparency shows confidence and belief in what you are saying.  On the part of members of the church, asking for clarity from God, leaders, or in discussion with other members implies that you care, that you want to know—how is this a sin?  We should not be afraid to ask, and we should be answered with full transparency.

2.

Peoples of African descent (and their allies) asked the same question before 1978: will you inquire of the Lord for revelation concerning ordination for all worthy men?  Why were the priesthood privileges of men of sub-Saharan African descent revoked and then subsequently restored?  The revelation to restore priesthood to all worthy men occurred upon many petitions by Mormons concerned about equality to the prophets David O. Mckay and Spencer W. Kimball.  Members of the LDS Church asked McKay, and then Kimball, to inquire of God about this racist practice. Though priesthood privileges have been restored to "all worthy men," there has been no subsequent apology or explanation for why this racist practice was part of our church for so long.

In the October 2013 conference, we heard that the priesthood is God’s priesthood to be restored or bestowed when and where God wants it to be.  What is the difference between the restoration of the priesthood to all worthy men and what Mormons concerned about sexism in the church are requesting right now?  Why was it seemingly okay to ask about that, but not about this?  Why were African-American men able to "get a meeting" with the First Presidency while women have not been able to "get a meeting" about female ordination despite decades of petitioning?

3.

What is our common definition of equality, and do Mormons really believe in equality? Do we agree on the definition of the word “equality” contained in the dictionary, basically:   “Being equal in status, rights, and opportunities?” If the answer is yes, we all agree on this definition, then we need to admit that our church is okay with inequality, and we need to explain why. 

In fact, I think we need to acknowledge that equality is not our primary goal, that it is secondary to other purposes, such as our belief that enacting separate gender roles is important to preserving order on earth and in the church.  9 and 1 are not equal.  They are different numbers, and they have different roles in different equations.  By definition, equal means same or exact in terms of quantity.  This fact of equality is quantitative.  Most discussion of gender roles in the LDS cosmology addresses qualitative issues.  Qualitative issues can not replace quantitative in discussions of equality. In true equality, both the quantity and quality of opportunity, status, and rights have to be the same, not 9 and 1, but 1 and 1, or 9 and 9 .  

Or am I misunderstanding the definition of "equal"? (As opposed to the "feeling" of equality.)

Most people who lived through “separate but equal” have agreed that there is no such thing as "separate but equal."  Dr. King says, “Segregation is morally wrong and sinful.” As a church, though, we continue to hold on to this notion of “separate but equal," without a fully articulated defense of how “separate but equal,"  in the case of gender, operates as simply “equal" in the case of the LDS church. "Separate but equal" is the main rebuttal I've heard given over and over again by those who do not believe inequality exists in the Mormon church.  I want to know how those holding this view believe that "separate but equal" can work in some spheres and not in others.

If you are white and you don't feel discriminated against, you can't claim there is no racism.  Personal experience can't determine whether  equality exists in a system or institution.  Only weighing and measuring can accurately tell us whether or not equality exists in any particular realm.

Private institutions have the right to determine how much equality they will enact, and individuals have a right to participate or not participate.  I mostly wish we could be more honest about how much we value equality in our religion.  If we feel it is less important than other concerns and purposes, we should admit that and explain why, not continue to claim, against reason, that there is no inequality in our organization.

***

For months I’ve been trying to work out why I continue to be a bystander on this issue of female ordination.  For months I’ve been feeling guilty for acting like (and being) the “white moderate” Dr. King talks about, the one who is worse than the out and out bigot, the one who has an investment in the status quo and therefore upholds the status quo, the one who covers up the ugly boil of injustice so it cannot heal in open air. 

Why did I not speak out and show up at the OW event?

1.  

I’m tired and scared.  On a daily basis, the balancing act of children, work, and church leaves me feeling like I could fall off the tightrope at any moment if anything tips slightly or goes even slightly awry.  Maybe I felt like I couldn’t take the emotional fall-out of involvement in such an event—an event that would surely take a large emotional toll on my psyche.  The difficulty of living in an all-Mormon community when I have such strong objection to inequality takes a daily toll on me.  The pain of misunderstandings and differences with the most beloved people in my life, all Mormons, is something hard to explain to those who say, sometimes in honest bewilderment and sometimes in angry callousness:  “Then why don’t you just leave?”

Beginning in my teen years, I was upset about inequalities for women in the church, and was shut down by mansplainers in leadership meetings when I raised issues of sexism and gender discrimination in the youth organization.  I watched my feisty Laurel teacher also get shut down when she tried to defend me. Eventually, I stopped talking, at least publicly. 

I suppose I wasn’t sure I could take the shut down one more time. 

2. 

I’m conflicted about ordination.  Let me be clear:  I am not at all conflicted about the righteous act of questioning and inquiring of the Lord and our leaders for clarification on issues we don’t understand or want further light and revelation on.  I am in full solidarity with the women who attempted to attend priesthood on Saturday, October 5th 2013.  I believe the act of doubting, questioning, and searching for answers is following the model Joseph Smith set forth when he received his first revelation, and then subsequently organized the church to allow for a hybrid theocratic and democratic institution.

I am conflicted about what priesthood is, what it means to hold it, and about my personal connection to it.  What would it look like to ask a sister or mother to give me a blessing?  I can’t even imagine.  And perhaps because I have a more ecumenical notion of worthiness, I don’t want to think that some of my sisters are more worthy to bless me than others simply because they have followed a checklist of church and temple attendance, adherence to word of wisdom and tithe paying, and have been ordained.  Many of the sisters I know who bless me the most are not “worthy.”  They are not and have never been Mormon, or they are what we call “apostate”.   The sisters who seem most worthy to me are those who bless others because of their goodness, tolerance, wisdom and love.  Some of the best women I know would be worthy to hold the priesthood, and some wouldn’t. In short, I don’t place priesthood power above the power of good behavior, whether or not you drink a cup of coffee in the morning. 

3.

I still haven’t worked out the whole gender roles thing.  Being of the generation of second wave feminists, the generation who is feeling around in the dark for how to enact a more equal society, I feel quite muddled at times.  I was raised in a very traditional household, and I am myself a rather traditionally hetero-normative woman.  I like to cook and be home with my children (I also hate to clean, decorate, and craft), to wear heels and lipstick, and I love my career.  I have loved receiving priesthood blessings from my father and husband.  I have loved praying with my children when they can’t fall asleep at night because they are afraid, or when they are hurt or sick.  And that act does indeed feel separate but equal to me.  

We are a family of women’s college alumna and attendees (currently three alumna from Mills College, Barnard and Sarah Lawrence –after it was made coed, however--and one attendee at Bryn Mawr).  I value homo-sociality, perhaps more than most, and am not sure how this fits with priesthood and relief society respectively. 

Women of the first Relief Society.

Although I suppose Relief Society is no longer truly homo-social as, unlike at its inception and continuing through the 1960’s, it was when it was administered by a female leadership. 

And, contrary to popular belief, men ARE invited to the General Relief Society (they preside over and speak at this meeting, and a few random guys were coming in and out during the session I attended at our Stake Center. There were no female ushers there to tell them, “This meeting is for women only.”)

Finally, I’ve always loved the sound of words containing the suffix “-ess” and have been only too happy to reclaim this diminutive as an act of feminism:  poetess, authoress, speakeress, etc.  Being a “priestess” just appeals to me more than being a boring old “priest.”  I suppose I would rather have my own thing than borrowing his thing. 

(And by thing, I don’t mean to imply any(thing) in the Shakespearean sense.  By thing, what I mean is no(thing).)

Women leaving the LDS Tabernacle after being denied entrance to the Priesthood Session.

4. 

  

 I adamantly support the right for a Mormon woman to choose whether or not she can be a priesthood holder.  Equality means equal access.  Period.  If women cannot make their own free choices, if their choices are dictated by an all-male leadership, then it follows that they are not equal in “status, rights, and opportunities.” 

This is a denotative fact. 

The end. 

To continue our current paradigm of what Mormons call “ gender equality” is to say something along the lines of what Victorian men said about female superiority in the 1800's:  “Sisters, you are better than us, and therefore we need to make decisions for you in order to make up for our inferiority to you.”  Holding women on a pedestal is not the same thing as equality, although this is a popular argument used against those who hold that there is gender inequality in the church. 

Popularity does not equal truth, though Ruth Todd, spokesperson for the LDS church, used this as one of her main defenses when asked about the OW movement when she said in her official statement:

"Millions of women in this church do not share the views of this small group who organized today's protest, and most church members would see such efforts as divisive.”

Those who listen to General Conference each April and October will remember that we hear a “popularity does not make it right” sermon at least twice in every session.  

When is this reasoning correct and when is it incorrect?  Can the same flawed reasoning be used in correct and incorrect ways?

5.

I am deeply concerned with the disenfranchisement and exclusion of Mormon women from the leadership of the church.  I am one hundred percent sure that we would have a stronger organization if our leadership was split equally between men and women. 

I’m not sure this can happen unless women can be ordained.  We heard in October 2013 Conference that women have a special role in the lives of children.  The lives of Mormon children are shaped by decisions made by the church leadership.  Having a female primary leadership does not cover the gamut of decisions being made for and about Mormon children.  If we really believe that “working with children” is a special dispensation for women, then we need women working in every single capacity of LDS administration, because every capacity of the church affects our children. 

Today, the Monday after my sisters were turned away, shunned, and dismissed. My daughter Eva was there, holding a card for her sister Ingrid, who has never, ever been afraid to speak out against inequality and oppression.  

Today, I’m relieved I didn’t attend.  

I still don’t know how long it would have taken me to recover. 

And, today: 

I’m sad and ashamed that I didn’t attend. 

I wish I had been strong enough to stand up with my sisters.  

I’m sorry that I didn’t. 

This is my apology, and my timid attempt to continue the discussion around equality in the Mormon Church.

p.s.--

I am thrilled to hear opposing viewpoints, especially ones that use sound reasoning and evidence, are thoughtful, seek greater understanding, and are nuanced.  However, you should, before posting your rebuttals, read this list of reasons that I've already researched, considered, and discarded.  If you don't have a fresher or more nuanced perspective to offer in rebuttal than the ten reasons in this post that I've heard hundreds and hundreds of times without being convinced, you may not be able to convince me now with those same reasons.  

I will however, cherish every kindly and sincere attempt at dialogue and understanding, whether or not we agree!

what i wore

is it cheating to wear a dress AND pants?

this isn't my favorite outfit ever, and i really prefer dresses, but this is what i could come up with for wear pants to church day.  (my choice of pants was from amongst my tiny trouser collection consisting of yoga pants, orange skinny jeans, or pleather jeggings.)  the pants to church thing is probably baffling to a lot of women who aren't mormon.  right?  and baffling to us all is the fact that death threats have been made against some participants, an occurrence that spurred me to wear an item of clothing called "pants" today that i normally eschew for reasons of taste.

today i wore:

h&m pleather jeggings
h&m leopard dress
banana republic floral cardigan
vintage crystal necklace from grandma eva
vintage bangles from aunt bonnie
rhinestone earrings borrowed from lula
kork-ease red mary jane wedges (i have a slight fetish around red mary janes)
mac russian red lipstick

what did everyone else wear today?  i want details.

xo

p.s.  lula rocked a shalwar kameez at church today.

p.p.s. as far as i could tell, i was the only woman in the congregation today in pants.  lula was the only fourteen-year old girl in pants.

p.p.p.s. i had three main reasons for participating in this event today 1) to express my desire for progress in areas of gender equality in mormon congregations 2) to stand in solidarity against people who want to silence open, respectful dialogue amongst church members through threats, intimidation, condescension, mansplaining, belittlement or condemnation and 3) to express my love and concern for a dear friend in my congregation who is deeply wounded by the prohibition and exclusion of public discussion around the feminine divine in worship services.  i want her to know this.

p.p.p.p.s.  i found out i was not the only woman in pants in my congregation today.  i just didn't see my sister "suffragette" in sacrament meeting.

why mitt is "not my kind of mormon"

oh, boy.

i've debated for a week about this post, and i perhaps should have given it another week, but today i read  joanna brooks' interview with judith dushku, one of my sheroes.  dushku says almost everything i wanted to say, and better than i could, and with first hand experience to back it up, so i decided to add a few of my own thoughts, to bring out my favorite of dushku's points, and then to direct you to this interview.  it's a must-read.

here are my three favorite quotes from dushku:

1)  "I just love Mormons so much I hate to see us all represented by Mitt Romney. It reflects so badly on a religion that stands for better things."

2) "I don’t like it that we have come to be represented by a man who has no interest in a social safety net and blames those in need for being in poverty or without work. Mormons don’t believe that. He is not us."

3) "I would like for the Mormon Church not to be associated with the “war on women” because my experience is that some of the strongest and most powerful women in my circle of many friends are well-informed, active Mormon women: lawyers, writers, poets. The idea that Mitt has come to represent Mormonism makes it sound like the church has no progressive women, and I would like that misrepresentation taken away. "

and to those of you who support mitt, i'd love to hear your respectful disagreement.

in response to dushku's claim that mitt told her she was "not my kind of mormon", i'd like to share what "my kind of mormon" is, and thereby show that most of my criteria appear to be the antithesis of mitt romney:

*my kind of mormon cares about women, encourages them to speak, listens to them, attempts to understand them, and, most of all, acts affirmatively on the behalf of women to create more opportunity and equality in their lives.

*my kind of mormon is not complacent in his belief--is actively troubled and seeking greater truth and inspiration at all times.  this hearkens back to my first point, that of listening carefully to all perspectives.

*my kind of mormon stands up for what he believes in regardless of personal cost or losing a chance at political gain.  my kind of mormon is not swayed by public opinion and does not seek approbation purchased with a lack of integrity.  my kind of mormon is comfortable with being a peculiar person of peculiar faith.

*my kind of mormon does not seek or condone the seeking of wealth.

*my kind of mormon is radical in his commitment to living a life that will even out the injustices of this world.  my kind of mormon seeks to live in "zion"--mormon shorthand for a place where all things are held equally in contemporary life, and ultimately, the place where we will all live when true order is restored to the earth.

*my kind of mormon realizes that caring for the poor, the sick, and the afflicted are the most important acts a person can participate in on this earth.  my kind of mormon will enact private and public policies that ensure that as many poor, sick, and afflicted are cared for as possible.

*my kind of mormon is comfortable with the extremely radical and uncomfortable roots of mormonism--meaning that he will speak out against the mainstream when it contradicts his belief, and he will make huge sacrifices for his beliefs and for the comfort and safety of others, and he will build up a place of equality and justice under seemingly impossible circumstances.

i know.  that this is an idealistic list.  but i do know many mormon men who live up to it--probably more than i do mormon men who are like mitt.  although for the purposes of this post, i am more concerned with how he represents mormons & what kind of public policy he will enact than about his personal character.

i know.  that i myself do not live up to these ideals.  though i do strive to, and hope i can some day.

i know.  that my views do not reflect those of all or most mormons.  but this is how i interpret the original visions and scriptures put forth by joseph smith, and how i hope to see contemporary mormonism lived.

mormon comforts

sorry i'm such a spazzy photographer, but here's finnish dish.  she's not pretty, but she's good!

luckily, i had already prepared to cook one of my favorite childhood comfort foods for dinner tonight.

then i saw joanna brooks' book of mormon girl giveaway with a bonus stitchery piece* in the offering to boot.  (the embroidery reads:  "never underestimate a mormon girl."  amen to that.)

synchronicity?

i'm sure the holy ghost prompted me, guided me to purchase the ingredients at the market this morning to make a little thing called finnish dish with the enormous summer-sweet cabbage in my crisper.  pretty sure the h.g. wanted me to get right on the task of winning a copy of the expanded version of book of mormon girl. 

(even if i don't win, this gives me the excuse of going on and on about one of my beloved topics:  home cookery.)

this was a dish i loved as a girl, and rediscovered as the cook for a large family on a budget.  moses told me tonight it was the most delicious dinner he had ever eaten, right after we had a slightly freaky theological discussion, the likes of which only a seven year-old could devise.

isn't the definition of a classic comfort food the thing you liked to eat more than anything in the world when you were seven, starving after a day of running around the neighborhood shirtless, and worrying about if you will miss your mom when you die and go to heaven?

my mom was a better than average cook.  in fact, she was rather well known for her rolls, sweet rolls, and banquet-like sunday dinners.  her food heritage included a grandfather who was once the state beekeeper of utah and an avid gardener, a mother who used herbs and tinctures harvested from the environs, aunts and a grandmother who cooked whole grains and sweetened with honey.  so we had a health food influence to our mormon cuisine. so, no soupy casseroles for us (besides, my dad hated casseroles.)** we were lucky that my mom was mostly into whole foods even before "whole foods" was a phrase in common parlance.

to me, this recipe falls in line with the health food tradition, because, believe it or not, ground beef was not anathema to health food in the '70's.  i've built on the tradition by adding more vegetables (specifically mushrooms) and less beef, and even have a vegetarian adaptation for my two vegetarian children. plus, i like that it follows the commonsensical word of wisdom guideline to "eat meat sparingly".

i've also built on the deliciousness tradition by adding some butter and using my beloved koshihakari sushi rice instead of. . . non-special rice.  you could leave some of the butter out, or eliminate it all together if you're that opposed to pleasure.

finnish dish

i don't know that this dish actually has finnish roots, nor do i know if it is really a mormon dish, but it seems like it is because there are a lot of mormon dishes that retain the name of a national origin long after the dish has morphed into pure americana.  maybe it's finnish because it's like a deconstructed cabbage roll?  i have no idea.  i'm curious if anyone else grew up eating this.

the key to this dish is slicing the vegetables finely and caramelizing everything just bit.  also, we grew up eating it with ketchup.  i now serve it with fresh tomatoes on top instead, because it benefits from a little acidic zing.

1 lb. ground beef
1 medium yellow onion, sliced into thin half-moon circles
1 small head cabbage, sliced as thin as your knife skills allow
1 lb. brown mushrooms, sliced
4 T butter, 2 for mushrooms & 2 for beef and cabbage
S& P to taste

2 c. good short-grained rice (uncooked)
4 c. water
2 T. butter
1 t. salt

*put rice on to cook.  combine water, butter, salt in sauce pan and bring to boil.  after rice comes to a boil, stir, cover, turn heat down to medium low, and cook for 24 minutes.

*meanwhile, heat large skillet to medium high.  begin browning beef.

*meanwhile, in a separate medium skillet, brown sliced mushrooms in 2 T. butter.

*when beef is browned, add sliced onions and butter.

*when onions have softened, add cabbage.

*when vegetables and meat are a little brown and caramelized, add browned mushrooms.

*season to taste with salt and pepper.  make sure you do this well.  your dish doesn't have that many elements, so they all need to be good.

*serve over rice.

here's the vegetarian version for ingrid and lula.  i added snow peas and sweet red pepper, because that's what i had.

* i need to win this for ingrid marie asplund, who loves rozsika parker's the subversive stitch, is the oxymormon columnist (a column she devised) for the bryn mawr college news about mormons and feminism, and who once gave this amazing sermon in church about mormons, vegetarianism and seasonal eating, which was later picked up for publication in the fabulous edible wasatch.

**embarrassingly, i was once asked to bring funeral potatoes to a, um, funeral luncheon, and i made potatoes gratin from scratch, because i really didn't know there was a canned soup version, nor did i know that it was the expected variety for a, um, mormon funeral.  it can take a lifetime to learn all the rules!

sheroes: special guest carol lynn pearson

You and I, child, /Have just begun

When we learned that former guest blogger Ingrid Asplund was doing a piece on Carol Lynn Pearson, we asked if she would interview Pearson for GITP. Here's what Ingrid got for us:

"Also Important is I Never Keep my Mouth Shut"--CLP

I write for and am an editor of my school’s feminist newspaper, the college news. My column, Oxy-Mormon discusses issues of Mormonism and feminism. I compiled a list of my Mormon sheroes for this column, and Carol Lynn Pearson was one of the first people I thought of, as she has long been an inspiration to me. 

Carol Lynn Pearson is a playwright, poet, author, and philosopher who has contributed a great deal as an advocate for LGBT issues and women’s authority in the Mormon Church. Her best known works include Goodbye, I Love You, which tells her story of taking care of her gay ex-husband as he died of AIDS, Beginnings, a best-selling book of her poetry. She was also the librettist for My Turn on Earth, a musical about Mormonism, and wrote Circling the Wagons: No More Goodbyes. 

What I admire about Carol Lynn Pearson is her courage in speaking out about controversial issues within Mormonism as well as her recognition that her unusual beliefs make her as a valuable member of the Mormon community. In her words, “I have a unique opportunity to build bridges.” I was lucky to be able to interview her on the phone today and ask her a few questions, as well as our four GITP queries.

IA: When did you first find yourself at an intersection of Mormonism and feminism? Was there one “aha” moment? What was that like?

CLP: I was a high school sophomore at BY High school, and my seminary teacher, who was a very good man, gave a lesson where he said that we have many Heavenly Mothers because polygamy is a true and eternal principal and that as we became more righteous, we would understand polygamy better. I remember walking home, and thinking there was just something wrong with that and that there was no way my seminary teacher was right. It never occurred to me that I was the one who was wrong, I think that too often women think that if they disagree with something the church does, it’s their problem and that they need to always defer to priesthood authority.

IA: Do you ever feel discouraged with how things are going? How do you deal with that?

CLP: *laughs* I often feel discouraged, outraged, and many other negative feelings that the church hasn’t joined the greatest movement we’ve ever had for women, which of course is feminism. However, I am not discouraged about the entire world or about Godliness because I know that humanity always moves forward. When I feel discouraged, I get in my spiritual helicopter and I look at the big picture of history—we may have our bumps and we may slide back occasionally, but the human condition always moves forward.

I’ve been focusing more on LGBT issues within the church recently. There has been big traction nationally with LGBT issues so the church has been focusing on that as well. Because there hasn’t been as much talk of women’s issues nationally in recent times, the church hasn’t been addressing it much. I have been focusing on gay rights recently because I haven’t seen any Mormon feminists commit suicide, unlike gay youth.

I am able to balance it all especially because I’m a Libra, so I go through the world with both hands out and am able to remember that on the one hand, we have a serious need to reframe our concept of a creator to encompass our Heavenly Mother, but on the other hand, I love the Mormon community and I see a lot of room for support and leadership for women.

Also important is that I never keep my mouth shut. I change pronouns when I sing hymns to sing about the faith of our mothers, and I am always willing to stand up during Relief Society and remind everyone that we come from a Heavenly Mother and a Heavenly Father. Just the other day I emailed my Stake President—it may surprise you to hear this, but I am on excellent terms with my ward and stake—and I closed the email by reminding him that “God moves in mysterious ways, Her wonders to perform.” 

I also try to remember that Salt Lake City is not the hub of the universe. It is one place in God’s great vineyard, and it has many wonderful answers but it does not have all the answers.

IA: Do you have any particular habits for nurturing your spirituality/activism/artistic practice?

CLP: I try to read nourishing and expansive books… not usually Deseret books! I’m also plugged into many spiritual arenas, lots of spiritually oriented mailing lists. I have my women’s group that has met once a month for about twenty-five years. It’s a very intimate group of about six women, we started out aiming to make change in the church but now I’m the only one of them who still goes to church and I go to church on my own terms, not as I did thirty or forty years ago. In my own personal meditations and prayers I think of God in terms of a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother. I think that might be a limited way of picturing it—if we even can picture something like that—but I try to remember that God is so much larger than what we talk about. Because God is love, wherever I find love, I find God—this can be in heterosexual relationships, homosexual relationships, in Islam, Protestantism, Mormonism… Mormons do remarkable things, regardless of all the crap they do.

IA: What are your feelings on the future?

CLP: I see women’s situations and women’s rights issues as improving worldwide. The Dalai Lama said that it is women who will save the world, and I absolutely believe that. As long as we don’t destroy the planet (and if we do destroy the planet, we’ll find an alternative space to continue the human condition on) we will continue to do our strange dance of forming relationships between men and women. Women should continue offering their strong feminine energy to change and improve power structures inside and outside of the church rather than merely trying to participate in existing power structures that are oppressive. Of course I’m sad that the church seems to be on the last wagon of feminism and gay rights issues, but I’m ok with it because I know we’ll figure it out eventually.

Are you in a tight place?

Yes I am, or I wouldn’t be human! I try to keep a general position of affirmation and confidence to deal with that.

What do you want to get done this year?

I am working on what I call my “Preparing for Death” project. I’m getting my archives in order so that I can feel at peace with all of my boxes and files organized. I also have some goals for my personal relationships and such.

What inspires you?

Anything heroic inspires me! Right now I am watching To Kill a Mockingbird on Netflix, it is very inspiring to see characters doing what is right and letting the consequences follow. I am inspired by the beautiful coincidences that seem to pop up every day, I even wrote a book about that. I am inspired when I walk up into the hills to go for a run, and I am inspired by nature being ongoing and beautiful. I am inspired by the people in my life and I’m also inspired by my own creative work! Sometimes I think to myself, “Dang! I am so lucky that I get to do this!”

What is your favorite legwear?

Old jeans.