lds/eqat fast for mountaintop justice

ingrid at a mountain top removal protest in west virginia.

i've long been inspired by ingrid's commitment to action for change.  this sunday she organized a fast in solidarity with eqat and the people of west virginia to bring an end to mountain top removal coal mining.

a few thoughts came to my mind as i participated in today's fast:

1) why is fasting effective?  in the mormon tradition, we fast once a month and give the money we would have spent on meals to feed the hungry.  it's a very pragmatic approach with a direct correlation between going hungry and feeding the hungry.  mormons also fast for miracles and guidance:  for inspiration to make a tough decision, for a cure to illness or sorrow, or on behalf of others they know are suffering.  in other traditions, fasting can call attention to an injustice, or be an act of devotion towards god.  i kept thinking of claims i've heard while practicing yoga, that the practice of yoga makes one a more peaceful person, therefore rippling peace out into the world.  i thought about how fasting changes the individual participant, and the power of collective fasting. this ghandi quote came to mind: The only devils in this world are those running around in our own hearts, and that is where all our battles should be fought.

2) miracles.  sometimes i feel discouraged about the ability of my actions to create change in the world.  oftentimes i give up. i read these words about fasting in the lds hymnal today, and felt inspired about the act of witnessing, gathering, and believing in miracles:  as witnesses, we gather here to thank and to attest, of mercies and of miracles. . . feed thou our souls, fill thou our hearts, and bless our fast we pray.

3) i thought about something i saw on a protest video against coal-top mining.  in it, some locals descried the participation of "outsiders" coming to protest an issue in their community.  i could see how it would feel weird.  on the other hand, when people tell you not to speak because you're an "outsider," you have to start wondering what's going on with "insiders", and why they are resistant to transparency.  two quotes came to mind, first, the famous quote from martin luther king, jr.: injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. and also this quote from judy bonds, the so-called godmother of mountain top removal activism who said: if coal is so good for us hillbillies, then why are we so poor?  (also, bonds is a shero of mine.  she found herself in mid-life and accomplished a tremendous work before her untimely death.)

i've been inspired by ingrid's example, and by hearing about the work of eqat, and also renewed today in my commitment to fasting.

President Yoko

 Today Yoko is 80.  I had to post this particular video, as I'm reading a biography of Kim and Thurston's band, Sonic Youth.

 Today I went to the Met and saw the work of one artist: George Bellows (who died at 42 of a burst appendix)

 Today, my novel is comprised of 32,551 words.

coping by cooking

chilled coconut cucumber soup with dungeness crab

when i can't deal with existential uncertainty, i frequently take down my big bamboo chopping block and my messermeister chef's knife and start chopping.  i'm in love with vegetables, and prepping them floods me with a sense of well-being.

putting together a meal satisfies my need for something finite and contained when my head is going to the far ranging places i've tried to forbid it from wandering to.  when the mind is out of control, i can choose my pan, my high, low, or medium heat, my sliced, diced or minced onion, and so on.

grilled marinated mushrooms & zucchinni, deborah madison's pita bread

i've already (over)shared that the past couple of months have been dark and difficult.  my cooking has slowed down a bit. it's been that bad.  but i have managed to keep at least a couple of nice meals a week coming to the table.

sockeye salmon grilled with pernod & sage leaves

to reduce the stress during a hard period, i added rotisserie chicken night, inspired by my little brother who encouraged me to eat a rotisserie chicken with delicious rice, with my fingers, phillipines style,  once a week.  he told me it was the most comforting meal possible, and he might be right.  being my mother's daughter, i had to add a salad, or on the really bad nights, a sliced cucumber with lime and salt, inspired by my sister katie.

i was looking through old photos and found these shots of a dinner party i prepared with my friend alice in seattle one summer, using a beautiful book she gave me called good fish by becky selengut.  all recipes use sustainably sourced fish.  the salmon and grilled mushrooms are things we always eat with alice and jim in seattle.  the grilled mushrooms are the best food on the planet, and it doesn't matter how many i make, they're gone instantly.

i'm starting to feel my culinary energy returning.  what is everyone cooking these days?  does cooking help you cope?  if not cooking, then what?

What's Not to Love?

 None of my photos are loading.

 I wanted to send some V-Day Love to the Lower East Side Girls' Club. They run the Sweet Treats bakery and make amazing stuff. I bought their linzer torte heart cookie today and this little gift box. For myself, of course!

V-day gets a bad rap and I suppose it's deserved.

I just very much like pink, chocolate, sweet and heart-shaped things.

valentines tell-all & what i wore

what the?

julie reminded me how much i hated valentine's day in 2012.  i'll admit that the day is hard for me, but not for the reasons laid out in most romantic comedies.

it's just.

a) fake and cheap, b) a huge pain in the butt, c) expensive.  i feel like i have to fabricate emotion or something, and i'm really prone to angst around things that seem inauthentic.

well, today was good!

floral couch dress from boulder, utah.

first of all, i wore this kind of ugly but very valentines-esque dress.  i got it in boulder, utah on a field trip with students.  one of my teenaged boy students wrinkled his nose and said, "it looks like a couch."  it does!  which is why i fell for it.  that and the fact that it was handmade by a woman in boulder from re-purposed vintage fabric.  it usually just sits in my closet, but i decided to try to be festive like julie and wear something for the holiday.

secondly, i started on some anti-depressants.  some might find my confession to be TMI, or possibly deleterious in future job interviews, or embarrassing, but really, people, we need to talk about this stuff.  i used to be so embarrassed about my flaws.  i'm trying to own them, accept them, & love them now.

the black dog bit me, and i need medicine to heal it.  i've been through this before, and i've been lucky that medication has been so helpful for me.  i don't love taking it, but it really helps.  i'm trying a new kind, called vibryd. evoking the idea that i will soon be super vibrant again, perhaps preternaturally so.

i forgot about him for a second.

thirdly, i have this really amazing friend.  she's sort of a goddess/witch/pioneer/muse/and my lady valentine.  yesterday she called me while i was commuting home, exhausted and sad and barely able to keep my eyes open on account of fatigue and tears.  she said, "stop by on your way home."  so i did.  she handed me this e.e. cummings book with her own marginalia and a vintage full-length silver fox coat.  i said, "how did you know?"  she said, "because jesus is real."

i guess i have to accept the coat on account of the fact that jesus told my valentine to give it to me. & it will get passed along to another lady going through hard times some day, down the road.

happy valentine's day!  read e.e. cummings!

xxoo

9. by e.e. cummings

there are so many tictoc clocks everywhere telling people what toctic time it is for tictic instance five toc minutes toc past six tic Spring is not regulated and does not get out of order nor do its hands a little jerking move over numbers slowly we do not wind it up it has no weights springs wheels inside of its slender self no indeed dear nothing of the kind. (So,when kiss Spring comes we'll kiss each kiss other on kiss the kiss lips because tic clocks toc don't make a toctic difference to kisskiss you and to kiss me)

Andy Week

There are Andy Kaufman events at a gallery in my neighborhood every night until the 24th.

I've now gone two nights in a row.

The first night, Andy's brother, Michael hosted.  There were home movies and TV clips.  Andy's sister was there sitting in the same row as--wait for it, yes--Laurie Anderson.

Tonight Lynne Margulies, Andy's girlfriend, hosted.  (She's played by Courtney Love in Andy's biopic, The Man on the Moon.)

I learned that Andy Kaufman and Andy Warhol bonded over Howdy Doody.

They were similar artists, in that they made ordinary things feel less ordinary.


I learned that Andy was into transcendental meditation.

Both last night and tonight, I laughed my head off.  Seriously.  I really did.

Andy never considered himself a comic.  He didn't tell jokes. He loved hoaxes and playing practical jokes.  He got famous by just performing the little acts and songs that he had always performed in his childhood bedroom.

Remember what I said about paying attention to one's childhood obsessions?

I relate to his voice very much.

senna, warrior princess

lula with freida pinto, girl rising spokesperson, at sundance 2013

one of the brightest spots at sundance 2013 was the preview we saw of 10 x 10 girl rising, a film spotlighting ten girls around the world and the impact that education has had on each of their lives.

we viewed the story of senna, named after a great warrior who fought for poor people (aka, xena the warrior princess). senna's beloved father loved to watch the warrior princess on television, and wanted his daughter to be as fierce and protective of her people as the televison xena.  senna is fourteen and lives in la rinconada, a high mountain mining town.  she witnessed her father's terrible, slow death after a mining accident, and found solace and courage when she discovered cesar vallejo, and became her own warrior poet.

lula is hosting a screening of this film in provo on march 14th.  i hope locals can join us--here's the link to reserve your seat.  and if you can't make the screening, you can purchase a ticket to donate to a low-income utah valley teen.

lula and i loved the film, believe in the cause, and think you will too.

hope you can come!

ALSO:  special for GITP readers--we are donating two tickets to one of our readers.  please leave a comment in the comments section to enter the drawing!  if you want, give us your perspective on global education for women.