a) fake and cheap, b) a huge pain in the butt, c) expensive. i feel like i have to fabricate emotion or something, and i'm really prone to angst around things that seem inauthentic.
well, today was good!
|floral couch dress from boulder, utah.|
secondly, i started on some anti-depressants. some might find my confession to be TMI, or possibly deleterious in future job interviews, or embarrassing, but really, people, we need to talk about this stuff. i used to be so embarrassed about my flaws. i'm trying to own them, accept them, & love them now.
the black dog bit me, and i need medicine to heal it. i've been through this before, and i've been lucky that medication has been so helpful for me. i don't love taking it, but it really helps. i'm trying a new kind, called vibryd. evoking the idea that i will soon be super vibrant again, perhaps preternaturally so.
|i forgot about him for a second.|
thirdly, i have this really amazing friend. she's sort of a goddess/witch/pioneer/muse/and my lady valentine. yesterday she called me while i was commuting home, exhausted and sad and barely able to keep my eyes open on account of fatigue and tears. she said, "stop by on your way home." so i did. she handed me this e.e. cummings book with her own marginalia and a vintage full-length silver fox coat. i said, "how did you know?" she said, "because jesus is real."
i guess i have to accept the coat on account of the fact that jesus told my valentine to give it to me. & it will get passed along to another lady going through hard times some day, down the road.
happy valentine's day! read e.e. cummings!
by e.e. cummings
there are so many tictoc clocks everywhere telling people what toctic time it is for tictic instance five toc minutes toc past six tic Spring is not regulated and does not get out of order nor do its hands a little jerking move over numbers slowly we do not wind it up it has no weights springs wheels inside of its slender self no indeed dear nothing of the kind. (So,when kiss Spring comes we'll kiss each kiss other on kiss the kiss lips because tic clocks toc don't make a toctic difference to kisskiss you and to kiss me)