keep it on the mat

the thing about writing a post every day is that you start to notice

that your days have themes

which

i hope is different from living your day with a theme in mind

which

might make you live according to blog format

which

could be limiting

or

could keep you from more inspired

or

serendipitous happenstance.

so:

today's theme was

precipitated by what my yogi said in her blog post yesterday

of taking it day by day to get through hard times

&

i had a conversation with a friend who's daughter is chronically ill.  she told me that "today was bad." implying that tomorrow might be good. i noticed she has been able to keep herself from thinking  too far into the freak out future with a day by day approach.

i've been working on a big project and, though i usually get all caught up in worrying about the ending of things, i've somehow been able to keep my mind on the present by not letting myself think further than the current month, though my project is a two year endeavor.

i told an attentionally challenged student today to write down two things he needs to do on a post-it and stick it on his shirt and to do nothing but those two things until they're crossed off his micro list.  then he can get another post-it and do it again.

&, in yoga today, i finally found a way around this frustrating shoulder injury that's been a problem for six months by not allowing myself to think about later, when my shoulder's better, but to focus on enjoying practicing in a different way than i used to.  i realized today that i can have a great practice even with a limited shoulder, even if my shoulder never comes back.

there's a thing that yogis say a lot: stay on your mat.  meaning, don't look at that super amazing yogi in front of you or that really unimpressive yogi next to you

& don't think about how you practiced yesterday

or how you will practice tomorrow.

instead,

look at the tip of your nose, or your navel, or your toes.

that's where it's really at.

i kind of hate writing this stuff.

the "be present" mantra has become tired, and embarrassingly smacks of white middle class privilege.

and some of these epiphanies can only be experienced, not talked about

like

the idea that

the priviliged have become ill, gorged on ease and convenience

spiritually

emotionally

physically

we are sick from too much time to fret about our own well-being

and grasping for the things we desire

and our own successes

which

only breed the desire for more successes

so

i don't have really good words to talk about this right now.

i only know that today was good.  implying that

tomorrow might be bad

or good again

& good & bad & good

& definitely never

what i thought it would be

so

i'll try not to think what might or could be