ah

i feel pretty old today.  not in a bad way, just, i don't know, getting very attached to my habits and customs.

also, c. and i went to dinner at 4.45 p.m. on friday, almost missing the senior special.  and a matinee on saturday.

so, yeah, old.

and lately i'm finding all of my satisfaction in the little rituals of the day and the week--the sunday dinner with my family and friends, the end of day reading from gareth hinds' graphic novel of the odyssey with moses, my early, early morning pages, a little daily show, etc.  nothing exciting at all.  just

really

nice & comforting.

nothing wrong with that, right?

i don't have a lot of big ideas, either, just details recorded and confined in the little space of the poem i write every week.

&, like julie, i haven't processed what the year-long project of keeping a daily blog has meant, either.

things don't add up the way i thought they would.

it seems like my project now is to try to forget what i thought should happen and pay attention to what is actually happening.

it's surprisingly hard to do.