Tuesday, January 3, 2012
i'll make this short. it's a busy day, which, for me, usually means a good day. that's what is meaningful for me today: happy and busy.
in seattle there was a taciturn woman named joyce, of norse extraction, in my congregation at church. she wore a short, grey permed wash n' wear hairstyle, silky polyester muu muus, lace-up shoes, and nude support hose. she kept a plain but immaculate house. one day we discussed women and depression at church. with no expression in her voice or on her face, she proclaimed that if you're busy enough you won't experience depression. perhaps the issue is a little more complex than that, or perhaps it isn't. maybe when you need to do tangible work for many hours a day in order to survive, you don't have time for the more abstract and debilitating ruminations that can keep you under your covers during the day time.
for today, the black dog was nowhere in sight. i taught my classes to some lovely students, did some laundry, am setting the table and making salsa for our farewell tamale dinner with adam and emily, and getting ready for yoga. for some reason all this feels really good. i won't think too much about why, or about tomorrow. and i'll post a picture from a cooking class i taught a few years ago, one that shows the beauty of the tangible. and i'll put my smoky chiles in a plastic bag to cool so i can peel them, and i'll go to yoga, and i'll eat with my family, and hopefully fall into bed tired but happy, too busy to check for the shadow of dark animal that pursues me on my bad days.
(no tights today. jeans and boots, or what my sometimes cruel daughters refer to as "jeggings." as in 'oh, mom, i see you're rocking a pair of jeggings today. not that there's anything wrong with jeggings.' on top i have a new dress from the new utah h&m [aka "hmmm"].)