|freeing myself of distraction in the mountains|
did i tell you i'm attempting a transformation?
i'm trying to live a life that will leave me, at the end of it, like at the end of a beautiful, transcendent meal, feeling satisfied but not over-full, wanting a just a little more, in a good way, and with some beautiful flavors that linger and waft into. . . . wherever it is i'm going.
(these are almost the exact instructions i give my students about how to write a good conclusion.)
i feel i need to make certain changes to live that life, but i don't know what they are, so i'm trying to figure that out right now by doing work prescribed by the artist's way. julie and i have both mentioned that, in talking about this process, one might feel like person who has joined a cult, someone who is convinced of the veracity of the secret (remember this craze from the zeroes? people would say cryptic things to you like: "if you think you are already prosperous, you will be." and you would know they were reading the secret.)
so i hesitate to say too much, lest i sound cultish, but cameron really does point out a lot of things that make so much sense to me. she's like my perfect therapist. i feel like i'm in intensive therapy right now.
do you, julie?
here are two things that are going on right now:
1) reading deprivation. cameron wants me not to read for a whole week. i've decided, since i have to do some reading and writing for my job every day, that i'll do all that in the mornings and then go on a reading fast every day starting at 1 p.m. and lasting until i wake up the following morning. here's one of her reasons for undergoing reading deprivation. it's a good one: "for most blocked creatives, reading is an addiction. we gobble words of others rather than digest our own thoughts and feelings, rather than cook up something of our own."
2) last week i began purging my house. yesterday i took two big black hefty garbage bags of clothes, toys and shoes, and two ikea shopping bags full of books to the deseret industries for donation. i had an obsession with getting rid of things, and have plans to do more purging in the coming week. this morning, i read that this is predicted behavior in week four of the process: "one of the clearest signals that something healthy is afoot is the impulse to weed out, sort through, and discard old clothes, papers, and belongings.
this feels promising to me.
i wonder if anyone else is feeling transformation right now?
hope you don't think i've become a multi-level marketer or something. i promise i won't try to sell you any seminars, essential oils, or tahitian noni juice in the near future
looking forward: to yoga tomorrow and a dinner with my entire family minus my four nephews tomorrow night