Sunday, April 1, 2012

confrince in the heart of the heart of mo land

confrince in the tabernacle, before it was moved to the way bigger but way less cool confrince center

if you thought the heart of mo-land was in salt lake city, you were mistaken.  salt lake city is simply where the icons reside.  the place where you can't get a caffeinated beverge, where you'll see hoards of young people walking to church at 8.30 a.m. on a sunday morning without hangovers, in modest skirts and dresses for the young women and white shirts and ties for the young men, is where i live.

((so today is the first day of spring general conference (pronounced "confrince"--short "e's" are pronounced as short "i's"--as are long "e's".  for example, high heels are called "high hills" for reals is pronounced, "for rills", etc.  there are other regionalisms which you may or may not be interested in, which i may or may not explicate for you at some future date.  but for tonight, the relevant pronunciation is "confrince", not "conference".))

here is what happens on the saturday of general confrince in provo:

1) you go to the provo bakery at 10 a.m and they are sold out of apple and cherry turnovers, glazed croissants and all but FOUR really sad, skanky cake donuts sans frosting.  everyone had arrived before the 10 a.m. meeting (broadcast on television) for their donuts.  i've lived here for 10 years and should have known better.  i bought the skanky donuts, but no one ate them.

2) when you see people shopping, eating out, etc., from 10-2 and 2-4 on saturday, you question their level of mo-ness.  like if you had seen me at the bakery at 10.30 am after yoga, you would know that i wasn't home watching confrince and taking notes.  though you might comfort yourself with the thought that i would probably be watching it later online, or reading the talks later in the ensign conference issue.

3) at 5.50 pm, there will be a traffic jam, and you will see most cars driven by men in white shirts on their way to priesthood.  at the same time, the mall, all provo restaurants, and nail salons, will be full of women only, bonding while their men are at priesthood.  if you see a dude at any of these places, you will know that he is not at priesthood meeting.  (full disclosure:  me and my ladies went out for peruvian food and then stopped off at forever 21 and see's chocolates. lula got a royal blue easter dress, i got dark california brittle.)

that's a small snapshot of provo on saturday at confrince time.

**two pieces of mo humor that may or may not be funny if you're an outsider:  1)  seriously so blessed--how much do we miss her blog, sisters?  2) ryan gosling for mo's.  i love the confrince image a lot.

legwear:  boots, bare legs & a dress, day two
inspiration:  listening to beck
looking forward:  to spring break in less than a week

(one more little detail, my next door neighbor sings in the mo-tab and she's also my voice teacher and she's also rad.)

***JULIE'S BACK*** i'm so freakin' happy, as we say in provo.


  1. GLAZED croissants?? Is that a Provo thing?

    1. well, i've never seen them elsewhere, but who knows? you know the motto here: never hold back on frosting and glazes.

  2. want to hear more about your next-door neighbor. guest blogger? hey, do we have one for tomorrow??

    this is jt, btw.

    1. she's a different kind of awesome than guest blogger.