Saturday, May 26, 2012

mothering in a tight place, t.v. writing, & vintage brunch time

1965 vintage barbie brunch time outfit= so many wonderful things:  barbies, vintage dresses, cooking & brunch.  and orange heels.
today i had brunch with some fabulous ladies (and one rad dude), cousins of my mother, my aunt bonnie, and my grandma beth.

my mom's cousin c. is legendary in my family, though i didn't meet her until my wedding day (almost 23 years ago).  my mother talked about how glamorous she always was,  how smart.  aunt bonnie told about the breathtaking figure she cut whilst lounging in a 50's rosemary reed black bathing suit by the family-run homestead resort pool.  she was a pioneer in television writing, around the time when television was just beginning, and she was one of the first female television writers.  she wrote for the walton's and falcon crest, most notably.  she also (simultaneously)  spawned and raised up five insanely successful children, including computer programmers, musicians, a deejay with a star on the hollywood walk of fame (and the longest running morning talk show in radio history), and a show runner.  i'm sure they also do other things that i don't even know about.  one of the characteristics of that family is that each of them can do more than one thing at a professional level.

so c. and i had a chance to talk (i fear i hogged her attention) at a brunch for her ??th birthday at the homestead in midway today.  (she lives in santa fe, but was in town for the holiday weekend).  so how do you do it all, she asked me.  i almost choked.  it was the secret i had hoped to pry from her today.  i guess i do a lot of things rather poorly, i said. i suppose i try to be consistent on a few things and let everything else go.  just be barely good enough.  she came back with, well, i suppose i was a bad mother because i was very ambitious.

i love to hear a woman unashamedly and unabashadly admit her ambition.  when she said that, i realized i've almost never heard a woman utter those words.

we talked about whether or not a happy, self-actualized, ambitious mother could be equal to the more attentive, devoted types of mothers.

well, my kids saw me writing on the dining room table, she said, so i think that was good.

sadly falcon crest was thought to be too sexy for teen viewing in my home growing up.  but now i can & will watch as many episodes as i want!!!!!!!
this is one of those questions with no single answer.  what makes a good mother?  i suppose, whatever kind of mother you are, you sure as hell shouldn't feel guilty about it.

i mean, it's a complicated endeavor and it has to take so many forms given the variety of mothers and children, the variety of abodes, cooking methods, birthing methods, safety, and medical care, levels of education and opportunity and freedom available to mothers and children around the world and throughout history. i tend to bristle at any pronouncement on best practices for motherhood, though i do feel as if i've arrived at a decent, certainly not perfect, mothering practice for myself and my children.

(they can tell you their side of the story.)

that's mine.  and i hope to get a lot more out of cousin c. some day.

(in fact, i plan to beg her for a GITP interview some day soon.)

i'm grateful for a chance to know these people, and for the kind attention they've paid me and my family.  

a barbie installation in anselm spring's boulder, ut. garden.  i heart barbie in all her incarnations.

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